The space between
by CGAdam
Summary: The Vault Hunters have left Pandora, but it's a long flight to the next Vault World, and every road trip has its anecdotes. (Mostly character bits starring the Hunters.)
1. Leavin' on a spaceship

Maya had been on a handful of starships in her life, most of them taken in transit to Pandora from Athenas. None of them had evoked the feelings the one she was currently settling into did.

It was a lot more spacious, for one thing. The various passenger transports and liners she'd been on had been built for passenger capacity, not comfort. The first shuttle off Athenas had been little more than a flying sardine tin, every occupant literally rubbing shoulders with the person on either side for several hours. Maya's hopes for a little more personal space on the interstellar transport had been dashed when she learned the three hundred passengers would be bunking six to a miniscule room. With one co-ed communal shower for the whole passenger compliment. For two weeks.

It had been a _long _flight_._

This ship, though...

She'd eyed the circular hull on the way in, and was reasonably certain of her estimates. The diameter of the hull was roughly five hundred feet, and she'd counted three decks as they maneuvered to dock with the underside of the hull. Even without seeing the room layout and a sloppy run-through on the math, that meant _far_ more space than seven people would need to be comfortable.

"Hey! That's the room _I_ wanted!"

_ "_No way, bucko! I'm the engineer, _I_ get the room closest to the engines!"

Probably, anyway.

Maya stuck her head out in the hallway and looked to the left. About three doors down, Axton and Gaige were squaring off in front of one of the cabin hatches. "Why are you two fighting? We've got enough empty rooms to go around three times over, at least."

"I always bunk as close as possible to the engines," Axton complained, still glaring at Gaige. "Whenever I don't, something _always_ happens to the ship."

"You're superstitious now?" Gaige scoffed.

"It's happened four times in ten years," Axton insisted. "The first two times, we got shot down flying into contested space on a mission."

"So you flew into a war zone and got shot. It happens."

"The third time is when it got eerie," he went on. "I'd been booted out because we took on some more senior soldiers during transport to our next mission. Two hours later, the ship ran into a stray mine from a war that ended _years_ ago. Hit the bridge, blew out the hull, and killed fifty people."

"Pure coincidence!"

"The last one was the clincher for me," Axton said. "I'd just gotten married. Sarah and I were in her cabin, when out of nowhere, _BANG!_"

"Isn't that what's _supposed_ to happen on wedding nights?" Maya asked innocently.

"Not when the 'bang' is three pirate ships attacking your carrier," Axton said grimly. "They were on us before we even saw 'em coming. The ship took on boarders, and we had to repel the bastards hand-to-hand." He grinned a little. "The space jockeys were pretty damn glad they were ferrying us along that night." His smiled grew wider. "The pirates were just as sorry they interrupted Sarah's wedding night. That lady could go to _town_ when she got pissed."

Gaige folded her arms and leaned against the door. "Nothing in that story convinces me I need to give up my room, soldier boy."

Axton sighed and tossed up his hands. "Okay, how about this. You give me this room and I'll..." he gritted his teeth, "I'll let you take apart one of my turrets to study, so long as you don't break it."

She straightened up, arms dropping to her sides. "You're serious?"

"Promise," Axton said gloomily. "Full deconstruction, too, not just digging through my ECHO to get the specs."

Maya covered her mouth to hide her smile as Gaige began to practically salivate at the idea of examining Axton's precious turret. "Doesn't that mean you'd be the first non-Dahl member to get a detailed look at the insides of one of those, Gaige?"

"Yes." Gaige's voice was torn as she considered. "I know _some_ of the details, but the deep level workings are trade secrets." She glanced at the door behind her and tossed her hands up. "Fine, you can take the room. But I get to play with your turret for at _least_ two weeks!"

"Two weeks?" Salvador's voice drifted out from his open door, and a second later, his head appeared. "Is this trip gonna take that long?"

They glanced at each other for a second. "Actually, I don't know," Maya realized. "We haven't set a course yet." She looked around the hall. "Have Zero or Cassidy picked out quarters?"

"Actually, I think they headed straight for the bridge," Gaige said, starting off down the hall. "Come on, let's get up there." As she walked past one of the doors, she gave it several quick _thumps _with her metal fist. "Krieg! Get out here, we're picking what planet to go to!"

"Delicious!" The cabin door slid open, and Krieg bounded out into the hall. "I'll get my carving knives ready to dice the turkey!"

Maya kept pace next to Axton as Gaige and Krieg hurried off to the elevator. "Tell me something," she said. "Why pearlescent?"

"What?"

"You called it a pearelscent level starship," Maya said. "You remember how we tend to react when we get a piece of gear like that?"

Axton thought for a second, smiling. "I remember you reading four passages praising six different gods in three languages."

"It's not just _me_," Maya said hastily, blushing slightly. "When Salvador got a pearlescent, he wept tears of joy for an hour."

"It was a gun that reloaded_ while_ I was shooting!" Salvador protested. "How could I _not?_"

"When Gaige got one, she jumped up and down and squealed for fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, that was cute."

"And I seem to recall _you_ actually slept with yours," Maya went on. "In fact, I distinctly remember that you somehow almost shot your face off in your sleep."

"Good times," Axton said dryly. "Your point?"

"If I'm to have, as Gaige calls it, a 'lootgasm' over our new ship, I'd like to know why. What makes it that good?"

Axton shuddered. "First off, don't use that word again. It works when Gaige says it, but on you it just sounds... wrong."

"_Muy_ creepy," Salvador agreed.

"And for your question..." he trailed off as they reached the elevator, considering what to say. "Do you know anything about ships?"

"I know Sanctuary was buried in the ground for thirty years and I loathe cheap transports."

"So no." The lift doors slid open and the five of them piled in. "Well, the short version is that this model of ship is almost nonexistent on the public market these days, and it's because they were just so damn _good_."

"How's that, now?"

"When the HarrFord company produced this line, the goal was to make it a highly modifiable flying luxury fortress," Axton explained. "They set up a basic hull design, then let the buyer custom order the interior layout, the weapons package, everything. And they also included enough other perks that once you had your ship, you'd never have to make planetfall again if you didn't want to." He rubbed the elevator wall fondly as the lift began to ascend. "If you had a 7700, you were basically king of wherever you went."

"So why are they so scarce?" Maya asked. "Didn't they live up to their reputation?"

"I'm guessing money," Gaige offered. "Probably overcharged themselves into bankruptcy."

"Nope," Axton said, shaking his head. "They just sold to the wrong group. HarrFord got an order for something like a hundred ships, all with maximum weapon loadouts and tricked out to the gills with every extra imaginable. When the buyers came to the shipyards to pick them up, they turned out to be a band of mercs gone _seriously_ rogue."

Maya winced. "Oh dear."

"The mercs tried to steal the ships and kill the dockworkers, but it didn't go like they planned." Axton sighed. "Before they were slaughtered, a handful of the workers managed to start engine overloads on every ship in the production yard. Blew the whole place and everyone in it straight to hell. With the loss of their primary shipyard, and no way to recoup their losses, HarrFord ended up closing its doors less then a year later."

"Leaving a handful of these babies flying around," Gaige said. "I wonder how One got hold of it?"

The elevator slid to a halt as they reached the bridge. "Maybe Cassidy-" Maya's voice broke off as the door slid completely open. "Oh, my _god._"

A vast transparent dome surrounded them, putting the entire galaxy on display. The narrow crescent of Pandora's rim peeked over the edge of the hull. Nothing interfered with the view of the stars beyond, no metallic struts, no hull, no glow of a forcefield. There wasn't even an artificial light fixture to be seen, leaving the area illuminated by the light of the stars and reflected from Pandora itself.

It was like walking in open space.

"Galactic beauty, Impressively majestic." Zero's voice echoed throughout the dome. "A stunning display."

"That's putting it mildly," Maya said. She kept turning around as she moved across the room, trying to drink in the entire view at once.

"Seems like style over substance," Gaige scoffed. She sounded impressed, but far less awed than Maya. "A dome like this doesn't offer a whole lot of protection in a firefight, for one thing. That goes double if this really _is_ the bridge, too. One lucky shot, the whole place decompresses, and you've lost your command center."

"Not likely," Axton disagreed. "HarrFord didn't make second-rate ships. If this dome is here, it's artistic _and_ functional. I'd bet if you check the specs, you'd find it could take a hit from a nuke and still be fine."

"Accurate assessment," Cassidy's voice called out. "This dome is designed to absorb any damage without detriment." A white-orange glow filtered into the air, illuminating a throne-like chair in the center of the room, the sole furnishing of the whole deck. The figure seated in it waved her hands, and several more glowing holographic panels flashed into existence, making a veritable wall of light. "Moreover, the command is mobile. Maneuvers and operational minutiae can be managed from anywhere."

"And we do have shields," Zero added. "Fear not for your safety, Gaige. We can take a hit."

"Fine, fine." Gaige glanced at Axton as the group headed toward the center of the room. "How do you know so much about these ships, anyway?"

"One, I'm a guy. That means knowing about high performance machines is in my blood," Axton quipped. "Two, I spent a lot of time being ferried from war to war on ships, meaning there were space jockeys around _all_ the time, and they'd talk ships for hours if you let 'em. I picked up a lot just from their chatter." He stared up at the dome as they reached Cassidy's chair. "I'm actually a little surprised you_ don't_ know about this ship, little miss 'I'm the engineer.'"

"Give me a week and I'll know this ship better than the designers," Gaige retorted. "What are you up to, Cassidy?"

"Inputting information and taking inventory," Cassidy said. Her fingers danced through the air, leaving trails of light behind. "Crew compliment and celestial charts required changes, while supply status needed assessing." With one last flourish, all but one of the glowing screens vanished. "It's complete. The ship is set to do whatever we will it."

"Then let's get goin'!" Salvador punched his fist into his palm. "Let's head straight for the closest Vault world and open that sucker up!"

"Sounds like a plan," Maya agreed. "Cassidy, please bring up the star chart from the Vault Key and overlay our current position."

Cassidy nodded and waved her hands again.

Maya gasped in shock, and several others let out similar noises of surprise. The galaxy had erupted into the room, filling the entire dome. Solar systems whirled around them, detailed marble-sized planets spinning around burning fist-sized suns. As Maya spun around, dazed by the starfield, she saw many of the blue orbs had Vault symbols floating over them.

"I take my place in the heavens," Krieg said. His normally savage voice sounded hushed and almost reverent. "Here, we are the gods."

"I integrated the information into our navigation interface," Cassidy explained. "To which world shall we wend our way?"

Salvador looked around at the floating spheres. "This one's closest," he pointed out. As he gestured to the image of the planet, it expanded to the size of a basketball, and words blazed around it. "Huh. This says it's pretty much an empty rock, though. No air."

"We can't go to a dead moon for our first new Vault!" Gaige insisted. "We need something _exciting_ to tell the others about when we call! Here!" She touched another planet's image. "The database says this is a jungle world. Tell me _that_ wouldn't be cool!"

"Sure, trudging through a humid jungle again," Axton said flatly. "Like we didn't get enough of that back in Aegrus. Plus, it's really close to a major shipping lane. Someone might have started developing it by now." He tapped another planet on the other side of the room. "This one looks good. It's got a nice temperature, it's out of the way, and-"

"_This_ one."

The others turned. "What was that, Maya?"

Maya passed her hand through one of the planets, almost at the edge of the dome. It grew until it hovered in her palm, a strange mottled-blue color. "This is where we should go first."

Salvador trotted over and peered at the words floating over his head. "It says here no one's been to that planet in fifty years. That means we'd have a clear shot at it, at least."

"Yeah, but that's a _long_ way out there," Axton protested. "If this map's to scale, that trip will takes _months_."

"Six weeks of flight time," Zero corrected. "The engines on this vessel Are _extremely_ fast."

"That's still a long time to spend cooped up, even in a comfortable ship," Axton complained. "I'd know, I've done it before."

"Yeah, yeah, you've been all over getting taken to wars," Gaige snapped. More calmly, she asked, "Why that one, Maya?"

"I'm... I'm not really sure," Maya admitted, shaking her head. "It's just... I look at this world, and I feel like it's where we _should_ go." She shrugged. "Sorry."

"Well, let's put it to a vote," Axton said. "_I_ vote we head for my little planet over there. The one that's ten days away, instead of forty-two."

"The far-flung sun!" Krieg snarled. "Across the ocean I will go!"

"Why am I not surprised," Axton said dryly. "Who else? Gaige?"

"Mmmmm..." Gaige glanced back and forth between the two holograms. "You already got one thing outta me today, soldier. I'm with Maya on this one." She grinned. "Besides, six weeks of travel time means I can have two full weeks to mess around with your turret. If I pick your little world, I might get half that before I'd have to start putting it back together."

"Little twerp," Axton grumbled. "All right, then. What about you, Zero? What's your vote?"

Zero shrugged. "No real preference," he said. "If I were _forced_ to decide, I would say closer."

"Two-three," Gaige said. "What about you, Cass?"

"_Me?_" Cassidy squeaked. "I'm no mighty hunter, merely the pilot."

"Yeah, you're the _pilot,_" Gaige stressed. "So _as_ the pilot, what's your opinion on where we fly to?"

Cassidy looked between the two holographic worlds. "Um..."

"Don't sweat it, _pilota_," Salvador interrupted suddenly. "I vote we head out here, too."

"Are you _serious_, man?" Axton looked unhappily at him. "I figured you'd want to get back to shooting things as fast as you could."

"I've been shooting things my whole life," Salvador retorted. "I've never ridden in anything this comfy, though. I wanna _enjoy_ it."

Axton sighed and tossed his hands in the air. "Okay, I'm outvoted. Let's go to the edge of the galaxy. I just hope you all don't go stir crazy on each other."

Maya sighed and blinked as the hologram disappeared. She felt like a strange weight had been lifted from her mind. "Thanks, guys."

"No sweat, _chica,_" Salvador assured her. "We got your back."

"I'd gut a snow lizard for you!" Krieg proclaimed.

Gaige made a face. "Bleah. And with that mental image, what say we get going?"

Maya nodded and turned back to the center of the room. "We've got our destination, navigator. Let's go hunting."

Cassidy waved her hands and the wall of glowing panels reappeared. Another quick sequence of gestures, and a low hum filled the ship as the engines began to power up. With one last flourish, the ship spun away from Pandora flew into the dark emptiness, heading for the edge of space.

The small crew stood quietly for a few minutes, watching the stars drift past. Finally, Salvador cleared his throat. "Anyone up for poker?"

* * *

[And so the trip begins. New chapters of this little interquel (or Presequel, as they're apparently called in the BL universe) will be up roughly Saturday morning/Friday night, depending on your part of the world. Hope ya like, and thanks for reading!]


	2. At home on the range

Zero aimed down his sights carefully, lining up his target. It seemed smaller than normal, but that was because normally he'd be looking at it with a 10x or 20x scope on a sniper rifle. Today, it was a 4.4x on an SMG. He stretched his finger towards the trigger...

A low whistle echoed throughout the chamber. "A Bandit SMG from five hundred yards? You _do _like a challenge, don't you?"

Other people would have dropped their gun or hesitated in firing. Zero simply squeezed the trigger, moving the barrel in a smooth, steady pattern until the enormous clip ran dry. At the far end of the shooting range, a very exact sequence of holes appeared in the target.

Zero lowered the SMG, allowing himself a small measure of satisfaction. "Less accurate gun, But far more rapid, as well." He tapped a few buttons on a small keypad next to him, and the SMG vanished in a burst of light. "Lots of holes to make."

Maya took the shooting stall next to Zero. "Well, from what's visible from here, it looks like you hit the target with everything." She punched in her own selection and a Maliwan SMG resolved into her hand. "Mind if I join you? I haven't been shooting since we left Pandora." She pressed a button and a paper target dropped down from the ceiling. "A week without firing a single bullet. I didn't expect to miss it this much."

"The range is right here," Zero pointed out. "You could have practiced before." He entered a new command, and an automatic pistol dropped into his palm. "Why wait until now?"

"Catching up on my reading. This ship came with a great library." She fired of a burst of rounds, then winced. "Ouch. Forgot how loud a shooting range gets." She turned a dial on the wall and fired again. This time, the gun only made a few minute popping sounds while firing. "Much better. Simulated weapons offer some nice perks."

"We are both aware You _like_ shooting as much as Reading a good book," Zero pointed out, tracing a pattern into his target. "But reading does not _Relax_ the mind like shooting." Zero's pistol vanished, and was quickly replaced by an assault rifle."What's bothering you?"

Maya gave Zero a half surprised, half impressed look. "Am I really that obvious, or are you just that good?" Without waiting for an answer, she fired downrange. "The thing is, Z, I'm not sure _what's_ bothering me. I just know I've been getting edgier and edgier for the past couple days. Ah, man!" Her last shot had gone slightly off the mark. "I should've been coming down here _every _day." She reset the target and lined up again.

"Could you be fearing This world another false trail, Bereft of all truth?" Several short, sharp volleys punctuated Zero's words. "You left Pandora Without any clues to your Siren lineage."

Maya slapped her SMG onto the chest high shelf in the booth hard enough that a _crack_ echoed through the range. "Someday, I am going to disable the setting that lets all ECHOs play whenever anyone touches them." She sighed. "Yes, that's part of it. Between stopping Hyperion and getting caught up in all Pandora's adventures, I never _did_ find the answers I went there for." She crossed her arms and leaned on the wall, a grouchy expression on her face. "Of course, it doesn't help that we ended up having to destroy the only thing that _might_ have given me any kind of clue."

Abruptly, Maya digistructed another target and gun. This time, however, it was a large gauge shotgun, and she didn't lower the volume on it. "I'm worried, Zero." She fired, blowing a messy chunk out of the target downrange. "I'm not like other people." _Blam _"I was different enough that a church-" _Boom _"-went out of their way to raise me as their personal weapon." _Bang_ "I can kill or bend people to my will with my _mind."_ _ka-Boom _"I have no idea _why_ I am this way, and it's starting to _look_-" _Blam Blam _click "-like I never _will!_" Maya hurled the shotgun at the target. It detonated, eliminating the rest of the shredded silhouette.

Maya turned to Zero, breathing heavily. "Are you up for a new challenge? Something that you've never tried before?"

Zero sighted carefully and fired another muffled burst. "You would ask my help In solving the mystery Of your lineage."

"This is why I'm asking you," Maya said dryly. "A mind that can think up haikus on the spot _has_ to be useful in trying to solve a mystery."

"True."

"There's one other reason, too. You're a clever one, but you're also just plain smart." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. She stared at him with a slightly challenging expression. "That fancy electronic brain of yours gives you a substantial advantage over we mere organics."

Zero's head whipped around, symbols racing across his faceplate so rapidly they were difficult to make out. Finally he asked, "How long...?"

"Have I known you were an android?" Maya finished. "I was leaning that way for a long time, but I didn't know for sure until Cassidy showed up. There were just too many odd similarities between the two of you for you _not_ to be an android." She shrugged. "That, plus Gaige let a word or two slip that didn't make sense unless you were a synthetic lifeform."

Zero sighed and resumed firing at the target. "Does everyone know?"

"If they do, they haven't told me," Maya assured him. "I think it's just Gaige and me, and neither one of us is talking." She rubbed the blue markings on her left arm. "I'm not exactly one to point out how unusual the circumstances of someone else's existence are. Until you decide to share the truth, I won't spread it around."

"So why show your awareness Of my true nature?"

"For a level playing field," she replied. "I could be asking a lot of you, Zero. I'm not going to do that without total equality between us. It's only fair."

"Have you sought out Cassidy's aid in your search? She's also quite smart."

Maya shook her head. "She's too naïve, or at the very least, too young. She hasn't developed your keen wit." She watched as Zero put another series of holes in his target. "Plus, I think she's got a little too much of Gaige in her personality to make a good detective." A slightly disgruntled expression crossed Maya's face. "She reads the last page of a mystery _first. _You just don't _do_ that."

Zero opted to ignore the slight on his sister and began to pull the target back from the end of the range. "What manner of help Would you require of me In seeking your truth?"

"I'm not really sure," Maya admitted. "To start with... I guess just watch for something you might not otherwise notice when we get to the next Vault world. We can deal with anything else as it comes." She shrugged. "Although if we happen to come across an ancient Eridian..._anything_, maybe we try to bring it down without killing it. You never know what we might learn if we could study it."

Zero finished reeling in his target and examined it closely, rubbing his chin. "Hm."

Maya tossed her hands up in exasperation. "Would it help if I offered your pick of whatever loot I find?"

"A difficult task Is a suitable challenge," Zero said calmly. He removed the target from its clip, rolled it up, and handed it to Maya. "And its own reward." Without waiting for a reply, he walked out of the target range.

Maya watched him go, puzzled by his sudden departure. She glanced down at the paper Zero had handed her and found it wasn't actually a target, but a large sheet of blank paper. She unrolled it to examine, and her mouth dropped open.

A few weeks back, the Vault Hunters had fought and killed an enormous bullymong. Shortly after, they had posed for a group photo in front of its remains.

Zero had drawn it on a sheet of paper three feet wide, but not with ink or paint. Every detail was transcribed in bullet holes, as flawlessly as if it were done by hand, and on a target that was too wide to fit the lane horizontally.

He'd done it with the paper turned _sideways_.

"Difficult and its own reward," Maya finally said, a smile beginning to work its way onto her face. "And well worth the effort."

* * *

[It's true, actually. Shooting a gun can be very relaxing.]  


[Next up, a much longer chapter featuring the wayward travels of everyone's favorite dual-wielding space-mexican crazy man. Thanks for reading!]


	3. SOMETHING CLEVER! ! !

The seventh day the Vault Hunters had left Pandora in their new ship, Salvador overheard a conversation that puzzled and troubled him.

On the eighth night, as he was drifting off to sleep, he came to a decision about it.

The ninth morning, he got started.

For the first time since he'd known them, Salvador woke up earlier than his friends. He wanted to start his little project before anyone could catch wind of it, and with all their quarters being on the same deck of the ship, that meant slipping out before anyone else was up and moving.

Salvador stuck his head out the door and looked up and down the corridor. This was the 'crew deck', as Zero had called it, where all the personal cabins resided. The other doors were still closed, and the overhead lights still at their 'nighttime' setting. He slipped out and walked quickly down the passageway, keeping his steps light.

"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work you go?"

Salvador winced. _Not quiet enough, but it could be worse._ "Morning, Krieg."

Krieg stepped into the hallway, yawning behind his mask. "Healthy, wealthy, and wise today, Doc?"

"I'm just getting an early start on something," Salvador said. "Do me a favor, _amigo?_ If Gaige asks, I'm still asleep."

What little of Krieg's face was visible looked puzzled. "What manner of creature is this?"

"If I can pull it off, I'll explain later," Salvador promised. "Oh, and if you see Zero in a few hours, let him know I need him for something."

"Cry if you want to," Krieg said, shrugging. "My tapeworm is hungry." With that, he headed in the opposite direction, towards the galley/mess area of the crew deck.

Salvador managed to get into the elevator at the end of the deck without running into any of the others and keyed the lift for the bridge.

The Vault Hunters' ship was simply arranged: a circular center main hull, mounted by engines in the aft section and weapons on wing-like extensions on either side. The two drop craft were slung at the lowest point of the main hull, waiting to be detached for planetary landing. Right now, Salvador's goal was the very highest point of the ship, the main bridge.

The elevator doors slid open, and Salvador stepped under the infinity.

The highest level of the ship was the most spacious place on the ship. It had started off almost completely empty, a wide open area capped with a transparent dome that stretched almost the entire width of the ship, putting the galaxy on magnificent display. It had been quickly adopted as the common area of the ship, with each of the Hunters bringing up some kind of lounging apparatus. Personal items had also began to creep into the area: a pile of books near Maya's recliner, a handful of tools near Gaige's shapeless bean-bag, and a gun cleaning kit left on Axton's bolted-down chair. Salvador ignored his own armchair for now and headed for the throne-like seat in the direct center of the dome.

"How's it going, _pilota? _All quiet on the night shift?"

The chair swung around to face him, and their navigator came into view behind a wall of holographic screens. "Smooth sailing through the silence of space," Cassidy replied. She waved a hand, and the various images vanished. "You're on an excursion earlier than expected. What brings you wandering my way?"

"I need a little help," Salvador said. "You know a lot of stuff, right?"

"An accurate assessment."

"And you know how to run every piece of gear on this ship better than anyone, no?"

"Yes."

"Great!" Salvador held out a book. "Page twenty-three. Can you help me make it?"

Cassidy gave the tome a dubious look, but leafed through to the page Salvador had indicated. When she reached it, she raised an eyebrow and looked at him, very confused. "Is there a practical purpose for preparing this?"

Salvador shrugged. "I wouldn't say _practical_," he admitted, "but it's for Gaige. She's been a little bummed the past couple days, and I think this would cheer her up." He glanced back at the elevator, making sure it wasn't rising up from the floor. "Just don't tell anyone about it. I wanna surprise her."

Cassidy looked at him for a minute, then nodded. "Alright, _amigo._ Call me your collaborator. Are you using nutrient paste or not?"

Salvador made a face. Axton had extolled the virtues of the gooey, hard traveling, lightweight, nigh-indestructible foodstuff for days, and he did have a point. It _could_ be made to look and taste like almost anything, and it did have everything the human body needed to stay healthy.

Even so... "Not," Salvador said firmly. "That stuff's okay for regular meals, but it's not right for this."

"If you say so." She handed the book back to him. "Scrounge up the supplies and go to the galley. I'll meet you momentarily."

"Great!" Salvador headed back for the elevator. "See you in fifteen."

The elevator took him back to the crew deck as quickly as it had taken him to the bridge. Sal hurried down the curved corridor, relieved to see everyone's doors still showing locked down for the night.

The crew deck was laid out so that every section was easy to get to. The passenger cabins were all grouped next to each other, leading into the main corridor. After the cabins came the laundry area (a waste of space, in Salvador's opinion), the 'mess' deck (ship's cafeteria, where Krieg was eating his breakfast), then the galley, where the food was actually prepared.

Salvador slipped into the galley and closed the door. "Computer?"

{**System online. Awaiting inquiry.}**

Why the designers had chosen to give the ship such an intimidating voice for all its functions, Salvador didn't understand. He ignored it for now, though. "I need some stuff, computer." He opened the cookbook and read off the ingredients. "We got all that on board?"

**{Affirmative. Alert: this item will draw from your non-nutrient paste allocation.}**

"Big deal," Salvador shrugged. "Just start pulling ingredients. And heat up whatever we need to cook this stuff."

**{Acknowledged. Beginning supply retrieval.}**

Salvador boosted himself onto one of the many metal counters and whistled to kill the time, watching as the ship's automated system began to pull things from its stores. He didn't know exactly how it worked, despite Gaige gushing over the small drones that scurried on wheels or slid on rails throughout the ship. He didn't really care, either. The ship was getting the stuff he'd asked for, and that was enough.

By the time Cassidy arrived a few minutes later, the computer had arranged the last of the supplies and the oven was preheating. "Perfect timing," Salvador said. "What's first?"

"Digital decontamination," Cassidy said, wrinkling her nose and pointing to a sink. "Your hands are hardly hygienic. You'll contaminate your confection if you don't clean carefully."

Salvador looked down at his hands. "What? It's just gun oil and stuff. Nothing unusual."

"You're giving Gaige a gift," Cassidy reminded him. "Something you desire her to delight in devouring." She held up his hand, pointing to the various stains and grime. "I doubt she'd deem _this _delicious."

"Okay, okay," Salvador agreed, grumbling just a little. "You make sure we've got what we need." He hopped off the counter and walked over to the sink. "What about you?" he asked, turning on the water. "Do you need to wash up?"

"Dirt flees from forcefields," Cassidy replied, a trace of smugness in her tone. "I'm constantly clean."

"Whatever, robo _chica._"

Cassidy arranged the ingredients quietly for a moment as Salvador washed his hands in the sink. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you undertaking this task? You usually shoot stuff." She looked at him a little guiltily. "I'm sorry for saying it's so, but I wouldn't have anticipated your awareness of someone's subdued spirits."

Salvador grunted and dried his hands. "Because of _mi_ _abuela._ She always told me, 'Help your family however you can.' Back home, that meant shooting lots of bad guys."

"And out here, it means kitchen crafting," she finished. "I guess we'll see if it works."

Cassidy proved to be a very good choice of help. Between deft hands and skillful manipulation of the kitchen equipment, Salvador's project was in the oven and cooking before anyone else had even stumbled into the mess hall for their first cup of coffee.

"_Muy bien,_" Salvador commented, looking through the oven door. "How long before it's ready?"

"Only an hour," Cassidy assured him, wiping down the countertop. "The computer will call you when it's completely cooked." She jabbed a finger at him. "_Don't_ turn my creation into coal. Capiche?"

"Crystal clear, Cass," Salvador assured her. "_Gracias_."

"_De nada_," she replied, heading out the door and waving over her shoulder. "Make sure to mention later if M- Gaige munched merrily on it."

The cooking time passed slowly. Salvador used the time to get his own breakfast, but ate in the galley instead of the messdeck- he still didn't want to run into anyone yet. He was just starting to drift into a post-breakfast coma when the oven timer _ding_ed.

**{Cooking time elapsed. Confectionery creation complete.}**

Salvador rolled his eyes and grabbed the oven door. "Maya's right, it's _gotta_ be contagious." He pulled the door down and inhaled deeply. "Ah, that smells _perfect_. Stage one, _finito_." He slipped the steaming item onto a tray and covered it with a lid to keep the heat in and the object out of sight. "Now, on to stage two."

He headed back down to the elevator and keyed for the next deck down. Counting from the bridge, this was the third level down, the recreation deck.

While the dome had become the common area of the ship, the third deck was where the Vault Hunters defaulted to spending most of their time. Salvador poked his head into the room closest to the elevator, the ship's library. It was empty, but that didn't surprise him. Maya was the only one who had shown any enthusiasm for such an outdated form of entertainment. He certainly hadn't expected to find Zero there. At this hour, he was usually on the other side of the ship.

Although with a ship full of slightly psychotic treasure hunters, it was never safe to take anything for granted.

As Salvador headed around the curved hall, he heard a voice call out from the next room.

"Sal! That you, man?"

_Crap._ Salvador stopped just short of the door and leaned into view, trying to keep the covered silver tray out of sight. "Hey, Ax. _Que pasa?_"

"I'm glad to see you," Axton said, setting down one of the heavy weights he was holding. He had stripped down to shorts and a tank top, and sweat glistened on his body in testament to his exertions. "I've been doing free weights for the past hour, I'm overdue for my bench press session. Come spot for me." He stood and struck a pose, showing off his muscles. "Can't let all this go to waste, ya know?"

"Maybe later, _hermano_," Salvador replied, doing his best to keep the tray level behind his back as he sidled down the hall. "On a personal mission right now." He turned and trotted away before Axton could get a good look at his carrying case.

"Since when do you do anything personal that doesn't involve guns?!"

Salvador ignored the question walked on quickly. He _really_ didn't want Axton to catch a whiff of what he was carrying. After an hour long workout, _anything_ looked tasty to him, especially something this sweet and fluffy. Fortunately, there were only two more rooms Salvador had to check, and the more likely of the two was closer.

The door to this particular room wasn't like a standard door on the ship. This was more like one of the airlock hatches, double layered, sealed, and, most importantly, soundproofed. As soon as Salvador keyed for access, he knew he'd found Zero.

As the heavy door slid open, a cacophony of gunfire filled his ears. It brought a smile to Salvador's face. He'd always felt most relaxed on the ship's shooting range. The sounds and smells of a firearm at work were soothing to someone that had learned to shoot before he could walk.

Zero was about three lanes down from the door, a sniper rifle snugged up against his shoulder. He was firing in a steady, precise rhythm, virtually machine-like in its exactitude. The result at the end of the lane, however, was something else. "Mornin' Z," Salvador said, squinting at the target. "Who's up today? That's a little farther than I usually shoot."

Zero stopped firing and clicked the safety on his rifle. "Commando Axton Rendered by my gun today." He pushed a button and the target started sliding down the rail towards them. "I have just finished."

Salvador looked at the bullet portrait as it slid closer. Maya had shown them the bullet version of their group photo Zero had crafted, and pestering from the others had lead to him agreeing to shoot bullethole profiles of everyone individually. "Lookin' good, _amigo_." He squinted at the picture. "Don't think he's ever that clean shaven, though."

"Beard stubble like that Requires my _little_ gun," Zero said dryly. "What brings you my way?"

"I need a favor," Salvador put the silver tray next to Zero's gun and pulled the lid off. A puff of steam and mouth-watering aroma drifted into the room. "Can you cut this up for me?"

Zero looked at the food item for a minute, then up at Salvador, a '?' on his faceplate. "Are you kidding me? Why do you want _me _to cut it? You could carve a-"

"It's for Gaige," Salvador interrupted. "I dunno why, but she thought this was impossible. I thought I'd show her it wasn't."

Zero looked down at the tray, then back up at Salvador and shrugged. "The odd things we do When it comes to companions." He picked up the knife on the tray and make a few quick slashes. "Is that sufficient?"

"Perfect!" Salvador said happily, taking the knife back and covering the tray again. "Good luck with the bullet-painting."

_Stage two complete,_ Salvador thought as he stepped back into the hall. _Now, I just have to find Gaige._

That one seemed straightforward enough, at least. Gaige had fallen in love with the ship's engine room about two seconds after she'd laid eyes on it. Salvador knew for a fact she was practically living in there, and expected no trouble finding her. He continued on his way down the curving hall, headed for the engine room access. As the most critical part of the ship, every deck of the ship had at least one door into engineering.

As the arguably most _dangerous_ area of the ship, the engines were mounted as far back as possible, away from everything else.

Salvador's path took him past the other handful of rooms on the deck. The first was a lounge, a room with a large TV and a few chairs. The second was a room with a few bikes that didn't go anywhere and a small piece of never-ending road. The third was the gymnasium. He meant to just walk right past it, but circumstances seemed to be toying with him that morning.

The door was open as Salvador went by. A flash of motion caught his eye, he glanced in reflexively... and slowed to an unintended halt.

The bulk of the room's floor was covered with blue mats to cushion a fall. An assortment of balance beams, pommel horses, and spring boards littered the room, while several sets of rings dangled from the ceiling by thick, heavy straps. Standing at one end of the gym, back to Salvador and clad in a pair of skintight blue shorts and sports bra, was Maya. Salvador couldn't see much of her face, but her entire body was comfortably taut, the eager tension of an athlete about to move.

Maya sprinted towards a nearby springboard, her feet barely seeming to touch the mats. She hit the end and leapt into the air, hands outstretched as she floated towards a set of the hanging rings. As her fingers grazed their surface, she threw her momentum into a spin, looping around the rings several times, her speed building with each revolution. Maya kept picking up speed until she was a blur, then hurled herself back into the air, arcing towards a set of staggered horizontal bars.

She caught the higher of the bars as she fell, her impact resounding through the room in a loud _crack_. Salvador winced at the noise, but Maya didn't even seem to notice. Again, she turned her momentum into a swing, spinning around the bar several times, finally stopping on top of the bar in a handstand. With a small sound of exertion, she lowered her body while remaining vertical until her chin touched the bar. Then, with an energy that still managed to catch Salvador off guard, Maya threw herself upward, releasing the bar with one hand and spinning 180 degrees on the palm of the other. Just quickly, she grabbed the bar with both hands again and went into another set of revolutions, faster with each one.

He counted five before she launched herself again, but this time, it wasn't towards any equipment. Maya folded her arms against her chest, going into a rapid spin, peaked, and arced back towards the floor. Her feet hit the mats lightly, knees bent, and she stood straight, arms up in a 'Y' position.

Salvador found himself wanting to clap, but his hands were still occupied with serving tray. He contented himself with a whistle that echoed around the gymnasium and got Maya to turn towards him. "Now, that was_ impressive,"_ he complimented her. "You never did that back on Pandora."

Maya smiled, shrugged, and scooped a towel up from the floor. "Not much chance to," she said, wiping her face. "Running, sure. Jumping, sometimes. But I never got a chance to use my gymnastics skills, outside of the occasional dismount from a bandit technical."

"Doesn't look like you've lost anything," Salvador offered, walking into the room. "I could watch you do that all day."

She cocked an eyebrow at smirked at him, one hand on a hip. "Oh, really?"

Abruptly, Salvador realized he'd been running his eyes over Maya's body. Just as quickly, he realized she was wearing a lot less clothing than normal. "Uh, I mean-"

"Don't sweat it," Maya laughed. "I know what you meant." She padded across the floor, patting him on the shoulder as she headed for the door. "Come by anytime." She glanced at the tray in his hands and frowned slightly in confusion. "I don't understand why you're carting food around with you, though. What's up?"

"Huh?" Salvador's train of thought managed to get itself back on track. "Oh! It's for Gaige. I was heading for the engine room when you, uh, distracted me."

"Oh, is that what happened?" Maya teased. "Well, you're right, I think she's been in there for the past couple days." She sighed, her smile dimming slightly. "Poor girl's been a little depressed lately."

"I know," Salvador said, chest swelling a little. "I heard you two talking the other day, and _I _figured out a way to cheer her up." He held up the tray and headed for the door. "That's what this is for!" He hurried down the hall before Maya could say anything else.

Or he made the mistake of letting his eyes linger again.

The engine room wasn't much further along. Salvador walked up to the heavy door, pressed the 'Open' switch with his elbow-

And tried not to stagger as a tidal wave of sound crashed into his face.

Zero in the shooting range had been loud. The Warrior bellowing its rage at them had been loud. This was a cacophony, an auditory assault the level of which Salvador had never experienced. It wasn't the engines themselves; as Sal understood it, there weren't many actual moving parts to the stardrive. This was loud, raucous, violent, angry and defiant, while somehow being mournful at the same time.

_Gaige must've wired her music into the comm system. _Taking a deep breath and gritting his teeth, Salvador forged ahead, hoping his eardrums would survive until he could find Gaige.

The engine room was fairly large, and always confused him. It seemed to be all beeping consoles, with the occasional glowing mysterious object and steel catwalks thrown around everywhere.

He found Gaige on one of the catwalks, spying her before she saw him.

Her back was to him, and she was facing the biggest of the glowing spheres in the room. She wasn't just staring forlornly into the light, though. Her metal fist pumped into the air in time with the music, and her head whipped up and down at the same time. She was also doing some kind of side-to-side hopping dance. Then she spun around, and Salvador saw she was singing her lungs out, eyes clenched shut and a wrench held to her mouth like a microphone.

_Girls keep surprising me today. _

Salvador couldn't do anything to get her attention. The music was so loud, he doubted she would even hear him yell. Honestly, he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to get her attention that way.

He didn't have long to ponder, though. The song ran out a few seconds later, blessed silence descended around them, and Gaige opened her eyes. She caught sight of him, and her mouth dropped halfway to the deckplates. _"Sal!"_

He offered her a weak grin. "_Hola, hermana._ Am I interrupting?"

Gaige's face went crimson, and she slapped her ECHO unit, cutting off the next song before more than a few notes had leaked out. "What are you _doing_ in here?!" she demanded, sliding down the catwalk's ladder. She landed right in front of him and put her hands on her hips, blushing but determined. "And how long were you watching?!"

"Just a few seconds," he said hastily. "I came to cheer you up." He balanced the tray one hand and rubbed at his ear theatrically. "If your music is a hint, you could use it."

"Hey, come on," Gaige protested. "Empires fall, suns burn out, and galaxies fade away, but punk _never _dies."

"If you say so," Salvador replied. "You got a table in here somewhere? Feels like I've been carrying this thing all day."

"Sure, over here." Gaige led him to small workbench and removed a few tools. "What is it, anyway?"

"Something you thought was impossible," Salvador said smugly. "Now, don't get mad, but I overheard you and Maya talking on the messdecks."

Gaige looked at him cautiously. "When was this?"

"A few nights back," Salvador said. "You said it was frustrating, having this ship. We weren't stuck on Pandora anymore, but..."

"But I still couldn't go home," Gaige said, her voice catching slightly. "I can go anywhere except back to see my parents. I can't even _call_ them for fear of getting monitored by the cops or a bounty hunter or _whoever."_ She sighed and dropped onto a stool. "It's been eating at my mind for a long time, actually. I was too busy Vault hunting to let myself think about it, but out here, with nothing to do..." She looked at him with overly bright eyes. "It just kinda hit me how impossible it really was that I'd ever get to see my dad again."

"Actually, you said it _was_ possible," Salvador pointed out. "You said something would have to happen first, but you _could_ see your dad again."

Gaige frowned as she tried to recall her words. "I did?"

"Yup. And so..." With a grand flourish, Salvador whipped the cover off the tray and presented it to Gaige. "Ta-da!"

Gaige stared. "Is... is that a cherry pie?"

"Cut up by our assassin friend himself!" Salvador said proudly. "I don't know why you thought it'd be so hard to get, but if that was what it took to..." he trailed off. "What?"

Gaige was staring at him, hand pressed to her mouth, tears flowing freely down her face now, but also smiling at the same time. "'Pie will divide evenly by Zer0 before I get to see my dad again.' That's what you heard?"

"Sure!" He frowned slightly. "I didn't hear you wrong, did I?"

Gaige shook her head fiercely, still crying and laughing at the same time. "Nope. Not at all, you crazy goofball." Suddenly, she pounced on Salvador and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. "You've got a great perspective on things, Sal. Thanks for sharing it."

"Anytime, _chica._" He sniffed the air. "How about we have some pie, and you tell me about your _padre_? I'd like to hear some stories about the man that raised such a little miss badass."

She laughed and let go. "Oh, I bet you'd like him. There was this one time we were in a restaurant, right? And then some crazy guy tried to hold the place up, shouting and waving a gun around. Unfortunately for _him_, Dad had a napkin, a dinner roll, and half a salad left..."

* * *

[I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING. I am a little curious if anyone guessed the punchline, though.]

[Next week, something else! Thanks for reading!]


	4. Short & Sodden

Salvador snored peacefully in his bunk, oblivious to anything around him. He didn't wake when his door slid open, or when shadowy figures surrounded his bed.

He _did_ wake up when they grabbed his sheets and scooped him up, wrapped in a cocoon of his own bedclothes.

"Hey! What's going on?! Who's the _pendejos-_"

Salvador felt his body lifted and carried down the hall quickly. He thrashed and shouted, but was held tight. As he was carried, snatches of conversation broke through his own yells.

"-just a few more corridors-"

"-_hurry_, my eyes are watering-"

"-you'll thank us for this later, Sal!"

Salvador felt his cloth prison swing, fly through the air, and pound to the hard metal deckplates. He thrashed around, still roaring, until he disentangled his head and saw where he was. He blinked in confusion. "Why am I in an airlock?"

[It's for all our sakes, buddy, yours included.]

Salvador twisted around and saw Axton's sorrowful face looking at him through the small, round window on the airlock door. "What are you talking about? What's going on, _hermano?_"

[We _tried_ to tell you, Sal,] Maya sighed. [All of us.]

"Tell me what?" Salvador asked, confused.

[You must have known _something _like this was coming,] Gaige said despairingly. [Didn't you wonder why you were eating all your meals alone lately?]

Salvador frowned and scratched his head. "I thought I just slept through normal dinner times."

[I brought it up every time we lifted weights together,] Axton said. [I even told you in the bluntest possible terms.]

Salvador's expression cleared. "Wait, this is about the _showering _thing?"

[Three weeks, Salvador!] Gaige exploded. [We left Pandora three weeks ago! You've been working out every day, you wear the same clothes for days on end, and you haven't showered or washed your clothes _once_ this whole time! You _reek!_]

Salvador sniffed at his shirt. "It's not _that_ bad."

[The computer says there's a toxic gas leak whenever you walk into a room,] Maya said dryly. [It _is_ that bad.]

"You never complained about it back on Pandora!"

[We weren't breathing recycled air on Pandora,] Maya pointed out.

[Also? We made sure you got dunked in _some_ kind of water at least once a week,] Gaige added.

[Unfortunately, that's not an option here, and it's painfully clear by now you won't shower on your own,] Axton said grimly. [That means we need to take drastic measures, before the ship's air scrubbers can't handle you anymore.]

"Drastic measures?" Salvador glanced uneasily at the door behind him, the handful of metal that separated him from the empty vacuum of space. "_How_ drastic?"

[We're not going to _space_ you,] Axton said hastily, catching the glance. [You're still our friend, Sal. Your stench isn't.]

Salvador gave a small sigh of relief, then he looked at them suspiciously. "So what am I doing in the airlock, _cabron?_"

Axton had turned his head sideways, as if he was looking at something on the wall. [Well, Sal... sometimes, when people come in from outside the ship, they've got something on them that shouldn't be brought into the ship. When that happens, the ship will offer a nice, hearty, bracing decontamination shower.]

Salvador's eyes went wide. "Oh no, you _wouldn't_-"

[Wouldn't if you hadn't made us.] Axton smirked and waved. [Enjoy, buddy.]

Red lights flashed and sirens blared throughout the airlock. Salvador threw his arms over his head in a desperate attempt to protect himself, but it was no use.

Outside, Axton, Maya and Gaige waited patiently as water blasted out of the ceiling with the force of several firehoses. Salvador's curses and yelps made Gaige flinch, and she looked uncertainly at the controls.

Maya put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He brought this on himself."

"I know," Gaige said miserably. "It's just... after all we've been through together_, _I feel like he deserves better from us. From me _especially, _after that whole pie thing."

"I'd say _we_ deserve better from _him,_" Axton pointed out. "I've done this to guys I fought alongside before. When someone's bad hygiene starts messin' with _your_ quality of life, you take action."

"Yeah, but listen to him!" Salvador's yelps were still going on. "He sounds so... so..." Gaige trailed off. "Wait, is he _singing ?_"

"_Now there was a time,  
When you loved me so.  
I couldn't do wrong,  
And now you need to know._"

Maya clamped her hands over her ears as the droning, off key, but very loud and _extremely _enthusiastic singing filled the hall. "Axton, shut off the intercom!"

"_See, I been a bad, bad, __**bad bad **__man,  
And I made a deal!" _

Axton stabbed the button repeatedly, but with no effect. "It's not the intercom! He's just that loud!"

"_So how you like me now?!_

_ How you like me __**now**__?!_

_ HOW YOU LIKE ME NOOOOOW?!_"

Gaige, also pinning her ears to her head, glared at the door in impotent fury. "Remember how I was feeling sorry for him?! Well, _screw_ that!"

**{Decontamination cycle complete,}** the computer reported ominously. **{Opening airlock.}**

Maya and Gaige looked at each other in horror. "Oh, no."

The door slid open. Salvador stood before them, dripping wet and naked as the day he was born, grinning, and threw his arms to the ceiling. "Does _that_ make you love me, baby?!"

"Oh, I am _so _outta here." Gaige half sprinted down the hall.

"Not...huh...not without me you don't!" Maya was half a step behind Gaige.

She did glance back over her shoulder once.

Salvador looked towards Axton, but the commando was already gone, a small trail of settling dust all that remained. Smiling, Salvador nodded, pleased with himself. "Hey, computer?"

{**Standing by.}**

"Set me up for another run!" Salvador walked back into the airlock, the door clunking shut behind him. "And while you're at it, patch in the shipwide intercom!"

The Vault Hunters never had any trouble getting Salvador to shower again. They did, however, have to start wearing earplugs when he did.

* * *

[Other title options included "Short & Not-so-sweet/Stinky/Coma-inducingly-foul. I opted for the least spoilerish.]  


[Next week, the Vault Hunters discuss a matter of burning urgency. Thanks for reading!]


	5. Unscheduled maintenance

[Note at the start for a change. This one isn't actually the pressing matter I had planned to go with next, that one's still going to be this weekend. Enjoy the random posting!]

* * *

Gaige hummed happily along with the angry music playing through the speaker overhead as she moved around the large machine/workshop collecting tools. A collection of clamps, screwdrivers, wrenches, and hardware was already laid out on a central worktable, to which she added several power tools and a soldering iron.

As she set up her tools in a row, she let out a pleased sigh and looked around the room in satisfaction. "Home really _is_ where the hammer is."

"Oh _man_, is that _music?_"

Gaige turned in surprise to see Cassidy walking down the stairs to the workshop. "Oh, hey!" She waved a hand, and the pounding beats fell silent. "Only music worth playing, girl! Punk kicks all _kinds_ of ass."

Cassidy went slightly pink and glanced at the ceiling doubtfully. "If you say so." She finished walking down the stairs and ran her eyes over the tools Gaige had laid out. "I see you stumbled onto the location of the lab."

"I needed someplace to really stretch out while I work," Gaige said. "I love the engine room, but it's not right for tinkering. As for the shuttle machine shops, they're just too cramped." She made a face as she picked up a large power cable and started carrying it across the room. "That, and I don't like the idea of riding in a ship attached to another ship flying through hyperspace."

"The shuttles _are_ safe," Cassidy insisted, "even at superluminal speeds."

"Maybe so, but as an engineer, I don't like to tempt Murphy any more than I already do as a Vault Hunter." Gaige hooked one end of the cable to a port in her arm, the other into a silver box attached to the wall. "He and the Reaper get enough shots at me as it is, I don't need to make their job easier." With the cable trailing on the floor like a strangely misplaced mechanical tail, Gaige walked over to the workbench and pushed a large red button. The silver box began to emit a low-pitched hum, and several lights flashed to life on the workbench.

Cassidy ran a curious eye over the setup. "You've patched your prosthetic into a backup power supply. Why are you augmenting your arm's energy?"

"Because my boy Deathtrap is due for a tune-up!" Gaige said happily. "And now that I've got an external power source strong enough to keep him from dematerializing, I can actually do it." She tapped a few keys on her ECHO device and clenched her fist.

Cassidy watched in fascination as Deathtrap resolved in existence, humming and hovering patiently as Gaige began to open various small panels on his body. "Was he your earliest engineering endeavor?"

"Oh, not even close," Gaige laughed. "It took _years_ before I was skilled enough to even _try_ building something like DT here." She opened the last small panel and reached for a power drill with a socket head attached. "He was my _best _work, though. I haven't even had a chance to _try_ and top him yet."

"There's me, M- Gaige," Cassidy said quietly.

"True, but I can't really take credit for you," she said, talking over the drill as she began to unbolt sections of Deathtrap's armor. "I mean, yes, I finished what your original builder started, but I didn't come up with all your beautiful, intricate designs myself."

Gaige was so focused on Deathtrap's back armor she didn't notice Cassidy's blush. "'Beautiful designs'?"

"Oh yeah!" Gaige lifted the armor plating off and set it aside, then opened a larger panel that had been hidden beneath it. "Where are you, little bolt... ah!" She reached in with a manual socket wrench and began loosening the bolt. "I've _never_ seen anything like it, even in hypothetical circles. Your skeletal frame alone was decades ahead of anyone else's work. And your neural net?" She shook her head and patted Deathtrap fondly. "I love my boy here, but you make him look like he fell out of the idiot tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Gaige scowled as she opened another panel, this one under Deathtrap's right arm. A series of circuit cards blinked innocently back at her. "Take these circuits, for instance. Without this kind of lab setup, I couldn't keep Deathtrap around long enough to tweak 'em, so his AI occasionally mixed up shooting an enemy and recharging shields." She sighed as she began running a probe over the circuit cards. "I'm always proud of him, but sometimes he just don't learn good."

Cassidy shuffled her feet awkwardly and looked at the deck. "So...even if you weren't involved in my initial inception, did you still take some small satisfaction in my startup?"

"Of course I did," Gaige replied. "Seeing you walk into the medical bay with Zero was one of the high points of my life. I just wish I could take a little more credit for your development."

"Your dad did a great deal for _your_ development, and he had little hand in your nine month maturation," Cassidy pointed out.

Gaige paused. "Huh. Never thought of it like that." She closed the arm panel and moved to Deathtrap's chest. "You were never a baby, though. You just kinda... sprang outta my head." She gave a small laugh. "Thanks to _another_ piece of tech I had no hand in creating."

Cassidy watched silently as Gaige tinkered with Deathtrap. After a few minutes, she asked, "May I ask about your mother?"

"Sure, but do you really need to?" Gaige asked. "You've got most of my memories, don't you?"

"They fragment the further back I go," Cassidy said. "The memories of your mother are mostly a mystery to me."

Gaige shrugged. "Okay, fire away."

"Were you close?"

She blinked and turned to Cassidy. "That's an odd question to start with. I was expecting something along the lines of what she did for a living, or something like that."

Cassidy shrugged and sat uneasily on a nearby table. "Your father's face is frequently in your thoughts. Your mother is in your memories much less. I was wondering why."

Gaige gave a half sigh and sat next to her. "Probably because my dad and I _were_ closer. I never had any _problems_ with Mom, but Dad was around more. Mom was the wage earner in the family."

"Really? Isn't that a reversal of normal roles?"

"Dad had a pretty high paying job in his younger years, but he got hurt and retired," Gaige explained. "It was a good package, but the Eden system in general isn't a cheap place to live, plus it never hurts to have more money."

"So she sacrificed time with you to ensure a suitable lifestyle."

Gaige shrugged. "That, and Mom _enjoyed _work. She wasn't the type of person to just sit at home and leech off Dad's income."

"Did you ever wish she wouldn't work? For her to forgo it and be with her family more frequently?"

"Well, sure. What kid doesn't?" Gaige leaned back and smiled. "I don't know if you got this memory, but there was this one time I was sick, the flu or something like that. I think I was like six or seven at the time, I dunno for sure. Anyway, Dad was out of town for some reason, so Mom took the day off work to look after me. I remember being hot and sweaty and uncomfortable all night, and felt even worse the next morning. " She glanced at Cassidy. "This sound familiar?"

Cassidy shook her head. "Please, proceed."

"Mom came into my bedroom, took one look at me, and got me into a nice cool bath. She washed me up, dried me off in this big fluffy towel, then got me dressed in clean pajamas. Then we just sat on the couch for hours. She held me and brushed my hair, and sang to me until I fell asleep." She smiled. "When I woke up later, I actually felt well enough to eat something and mess around with my tools a little."

"Tools? Not toys?"

"Those _were_ my toys," Gaige laughed. "Mom saw me tightening bolts in this piece of metal Dad had pulled off some old thing and knew I was feeling better."

Cassidy sat quietly for a minute, then inched closer to Gaige. "Is that your closest memory of your mother?"

Gaige frowned as she pondered the question. "Might be, actually. It's almost the only time I remember her babying me like that." She looked over at Cassidy. "What brought all this on, anyway?"

"It's... difficult to describe," Cassidy said hesitantly. "How familiar are you with my family's feud?"

"I know as much as One told me." Gaige's expression clouded slightly. "You might actually know more about that than I do. Why?"

"I've started having a hard time reconciling his recollections with my reality," Cassidy admitted. "One held such hatred for Zero, and dark designs for you. Even after his termination, his thoughts trouble me."

Gaige stared at her. "Cass... I had no idea. How long has this been going on?"

"A few days," Cassidy said with a shake of her head. "It wasn't an issue earlier, but my mind is maturing, making memories more fully integrate into my neural net." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "It's... not an easy experience."

"Have you tried talking to Zero about it?" Gaige asked in a worried tone. "He might have gone through something similar."

"Zero can't supply a solution," Cassidy said regretfully. "His mind was made from a single source, and never subjected him to this. So, I've tried seeking solace in _your_ memories." She looked at Gaige. "Your father is a fun figure, but your mother is more...soothing."

Gaige looked at Cassidy's pained expression for a minute, then glanced at Deathtrap. "Sorry, boy. Your sister's not feeling well, I need to take care of her for a bit." Gaige hopped off the table and picked up her socket wrench again. "Come on, turn around. You may not have _actual_ hair for me to brush, but I can still take care of you _my _way. Lemme look at that left arm of yours, I never _did_ get it balanced quite right."

Cassidy smiled and turned around, dropping the hologram around her left arm and shoulder as she did. "_Gracias, _Gaige."

"That reminds me," Gaige said as she fitted the wrench onto Cassidy's arm. "If you keep playing with Salvador, remember to wash up afterwards. He smells better these days, but he's still a dirty little fella."

"Got it."

"And I don't want you repeating anything Axton says, _especially_ when he gets angry or drunk. He uses language not befitting a lady."

"Cool. Any cautions about Krieg?"

"Just don't try to shoot Maya while he's around," Gaige said with a smile. "For that matter, don't shoot Maya _period_. That's a good way to end your life _real _quick."

"She also appears perturbed when I read the penultimate page of a book prematurely."

"Really? I'll have to remember that one. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I tried to build my mom a new car for Mother's Day?"

"No! You tried to construct a _car?_"

"Yeah! See, she'd been driving this old thing forever, and I thought she'd like a brand new one. So, I borrowed her purse and used her credit card to order a bunch of sheet metal..."

Cassidy closed her eyes, smiled, and let Gaige's voice wash over her. Very quietly, she began to hum to herself.

* * *

[I wasn't actually sure I'd post this one, but I was basically encouraged to get over myself and go for it. Good advice.]

[NEXT update will be the issue of burning importance. Hope you enjoyed this little thing in the meantime. Thanks for reading!]


	6. Mission essential

Maya took a deep breath and sat cross-legged on the floor. She stared through the curved window in front of her, into the vast emptiness beyond. She focused her eyes on the brightest star she could see, then closed them. Taking a deep breath, she tried to visualize the field of stars in her mind's eye, then slowly started blanking them out, one by one, working outward from her chosen star. She kept it up for some time, blocking out the imagined stars, and her own unexpected, slightly treacherous thoughts, until...

"Do you think Eridians made ice cream?"

Maya cracked open an eye and glanced sideways. Gaige had sat down next to her, and was staring out at the stars, chin cupped in her palms. "What was that?"

"There's a lot of things against it," Gaige admitted. "I mean, they'd need some kind of dairy analogue, to start with. Then they'd need to have a sense of taste, and a tolerance for cold that would let them _enjoy_ something like ice cream. And it would depend on their planets developing things that would mix well with milk, cream, and sugar." She leaned back on her hands and stared out the massive windows in front of her and Maya. "Somehow, though, I still kinda hope they made their own version of ice cream. It'd be proof of a benevolent force in the universe."

Maya sighed and closed her eyes again. "Gaige, I'm trying to meditate."

"That's another thing," Gaige said, rolling over onto her stomach and looking up at Maya. "How come you're bothering to meditate? You never did that back on Pandora."

"On Pandora, I had other ways to clear my head," Maya said testily. "Killing bandits is incredibly cathartic."

"Don't need to tell _me_ twice."

"Unfortunately, we're a little short on bandits out here, so I'm using what we _do _have." Maya waved an arm, encompassing the large window and vast field of stars beyond. "Peace and quiet."

Gaige leaned her chin on her hands again. She looked at Maya, sitting cross legged with her eyes closed, glanced out at the stars, then back at Maya. "Gets awful boring, doesn't it?"

"My _god_ you have no idea." Maya flopped backwards onto the deck, pushing the heels of her hands into her eyes. "They tried to teach me how to meditate at the abbey. I was never any good at it _there_, either. I always ended up daydreaming about exploring, having adventures, _fighting _things_."_ She propped herself up on her hands and stared out the window again. "Basically, everything we left back on Pandora."

"Well, we won't be out here _too_ much longer," Gaige said, shifting back into a sitting position. "Cassidy says we're only another week or so from our first new planet. Besides, this world was _your_ suggestion, remember?"

"Don't remind me." Maya dropped her hands and sighed in frustration. "I never thought this much living space could still feel so claustrophobic."

"No need to pick on _Celestia_," Gaige said mildly. "She's getting us from one planet to the next as fast as she can."

Maya turned to Gaige, raising an eyebrow. "Did you just refer to this ship as _Celestia?_"

"Why not?" she insisted. "We should've named her the day we came aboard, Maya. This long flying around in our own ship, and we _still_ haven't named her? That can't be good karma."

"I don't think anyone around here would agree on _Celestia_," Maya pointed out. "It's a little... elitist for a group like us."

"Oh, come on," Gaige argued. "I've been all over this ship, getting into every system she has. It's the most advanced piece of tech I've ever seen! She used to belong to an assassin _and_ she's the brainchild of an extinct manufacturer!" She threw her arms out. "This ship is the _embodiment_ of elitist!" She crossed her arms and grinned smugly. "Besides, what would _you _call it?"

Maya looked out the window, smiling a little. "How about... _Heaven's Fang?_"

Gaige blinked. "Have you been hanging out with Krieg when I wasn't looking?"

"You say you've been all over this ship. Haven't you seen the _weapons?_" Maya pointed at the window. "That's not just for stargazing, you know. We've got the dome for that. _This _is a sighting port right between the wings, just in case we lose targeting sensors. If we fired up the main guns, we'd get an incredible light show down here."

"But _Heaven's Fang?_ I seriously wouldn't have expected that one from you."

Maya shrugged. "My favorite brand is Maliwan. Maybe you should."

"Mm." Silence lingered for a few seconds, then Gaige offered, "_Celestia's Horn?_"

"Nah. _God's Fist_."

"_Hunter's Bullet_."

"Ooo, not bad. How about _Siren's Shriek?_"

"Oh, no you don't little miss ego," Gaige laughed. "If we're putting out title based names, this bad girl is _Mechromancer's Fury._"

"_Commando's Crusher,_" a new voice said. "That, or _Star Turret_."

The girls looked over their shoulders. "Hey, Ax," Gaige said. "What's up?"

Axton shrugged and sat next to Maya. "It's too early for dinner and I'm all exercised out for the day." He sighed comfortably and stared outward. "So. _Star Turret, _then?"

"I'd rather call her _Gunzerker's Two-Fisted Space-Based Beatdown Supreme_," Salvador offered, plopping down next to Gaige.

"_Meat Grinder!_" Krieg thumped to the deck behind Maya.

"_Assassin's Saber_." Zero decloaked in a corner of the room, arms folded and leaning against the wall.

Gaige frowned at him. "How long have you been _there?_"

Maya glanced around and shook her head, laughing. "What happened, did you set your flute to 'Vault Hunter' and everyone just followed you in here?"

"Almost everyone," Axton pointed out. "Madame pilot is still up on the bridge."

[Merely making minute course corrections,] Cassidy's voice said over the intercom.

Gaige folded her arms and looked around. "I hope you know eavesdropping is rude, young lady!" she said with mock anger in her voice. "If you want to talk ship names, you should come join us!"

[Tragically, I need time to tidy up our travel,] Cassidy replied. [Besides, bantering blithely about appellations is academic anyway.]

"Why's that?"

"This ship was used by One who traveled in secret," Zero pointed out. "It can change its name."

"Wait a second," Axton said, holding up a hand. "A ship's identity code is assigned when it's commissioned. It's hardwired into the system. You can't change it without a full overhaul at a major port. Even HarrFord couldn't get around _that_ rule."

"Do you really think An assassin would abide Such a restriction?" Zero asked mildly. "It had been removed From the system long before We took possession."

"So you're telling me we can rename this ship any time, to anything, and it'll look totally legit?" Axton demanded.

[Absolutely accurate!] Cassidy chirped happily. [And the shuttles, whenever we will it!]

Axton shook his head in disbelief. "That is like eight different kinds of illegal." He grinned. "I get to pick the first name!" He jumped to his feet and headed for the door.

"We are _not _calling her _Star Turret!_" Gaige insisted, heading after him. "Ever!"

"How about _Serenity?_" Salvador offered.

Everyone looked at him like he'd gone crazy. "What kind of name is _that_ for ship full of Vault Hunting warriors?" Maya asked incredulously. "When have any of us _ever_ shown the slightest interest in a serene... _anything_?"

Salvador scratched his head, looking confused. "I dunno. It just felt... mandatory."

* * *

[And with that requirement out of the way, I'd like to open it up to you, dear readers. Anyone have a suggestion for ship and shuttle names?]  


[Thanks for reading!]


	7. Behind the wheel

I don't sleep anymore.

Maybe it's not surprising. I'm a voice in my own head. Why would I need sleep? I'm not the one making the day to day decisions. I'm the one riding shotgun in an out-of-control eighteen wheeler, trying to nudge the steering wheel in the right direction.

I didn't use to like sleeping. I thought it was a waste, that I could be doing so much more if I could chop out the block of time where I'd just lay there, unconscious and helpless.

Of course, that was before there were two of us in here.

_He_ sleeps. He sleeps like a bear hibernating for the winter. He spends years in his own little dreamland, letting all manner of horrors play through his head. His _good_ dreams would send lesser men running for the hills, for God, for their mothers, for anything that would give them comfort.

He doesn't usually have good dreams.

I have to watch. And _I_ can't run.

I can't sleep when he's awake, either. I don't know for sure what would happen if I did, if he'd lose all control. For all I know, I'd wake up and our ship would be drenched with blood, all my friends dead.

Or maybe I wouldn't wake up. That one scares me more, actually. If I fell asleep and his savage, force of nature mind just... _absorbed_ me while I slept. What would happen next? Would I become part of him? Would I 'die'? _Can_ a fragment of a soul 'die'?

Hopefully I'll never have to find out.

It's strange for both of us, being out here on this ship. Back on Pandora, it was simple. Get a mission, kill anything that got it the way of it. I didn't even have to tap the wheel for _that_.

Here, though... there's nothing but downtime. It's not bothering him, really. He doesn't have any pent up urges to kill, because there's nothing trying to kill him. I've actually got more control right now than I've had in... god, I don't even _know_ how long. But I can't get him to pick up a book, or watch a movie long enough to enjoy it. The closest I can get to making him do something I want to is getting him to use the exercise gear.

That was actually a little funny, really. Axton and Salvador spend half their days lifting weights. One time, we joined them. I think they were both a little embarrassed when we deadlifted their heaviest weights one-handed without even blinking. I _know_ they were embarrassed when we bench pressed _them._

He decided to use the shooting range once. Everyone was in there when we showed up. They'd all gone in to watch Zero work on one of his bullet drawings. Never expected that guy to have an artistic streak. Anyway, he didn't know how to digistruct a simulated weapon, so he just pulled his regular gun.

His huge, rusted, untrustworthy, loaded-with-live-ammo-that-could-pierce-the-hull gun.

I couldn't stop him. I tried. I yelled as loud as I could that firing _armor piercing rounds_ inside a spaceship was a very, Very, _VERY_ bad idea. He didn't listen, and we ended up at the bottom of a dogpile when everyone else tackled us to keep him from shooting.

They still haven't given us back our guns.

Mostly, he likes to explore the air ducts. They're enormous, actually, which is good for us. _I_ don't want to get stuck in there. Anyway, by now we've crawled through every inch of this ship we can get to. I know things about it even Gaige doesn't. She'd never guess, for instance, that there's a space in the engine room that almost makes you believe you _are_ the ship_._ There's some kind of resonance, I think. It makes it so you can feel everything the ship does as it travels. I can tell when we're about to drop out of lightspeed before the engines even decelerate.

I've learned things about my friends, too. Axton still keeps a picture of his wife in his pocket. Gaige has her parent's names scratched into the handle of that wrench she carries around. Zero waits until everyone is asleep, then patrols the ship, making sure we're all safe. Maya's got a crush on someone, and she doesn't even know it. Salvador actually says a prayer before he goes to sleep.

That one surprised me.

They don't know I know these things, and I won't tell them. I didn't _mean_ to learn them, but his wanderings usually take us over their rooms.

The most recent addition to our little team has a secret, too. I just found out about it.

He didn't care about the new girl. He can't see through her hologram, but he can tell she's not human, and not an enemy. That's enough to put her below his radar. As for me, she looks a little like Maya, but not enough to hold my attention.

But she got my attention recently.

We were exploring again. He'd finally found a way through the ducts to get close to the bridge. Since the upper deck is just an empty floor with a transparent dome, there's no walls or ceiling to crawl around in. It had him stymied for a while on how to explore up there through the ducts.

Turns out we can get into the air ducts that run under the floor by going... never mind. The point is, we got into the air system under the bridge in the middle of the night.

It was empty, of course. Everyone else was asleep. The only one awake was the new girl, because apparently, she doesn't sleep either. She just sat in that chair of hers, surrounded by holographic monitors, flying us along while we slept.

He hadn't planned to stay there long. The dome freaks him out if he thinks about it too much. I try not to _let_ him think about it, but hey, eighteen wheeler. He looked out through the grating for a few minutes, then headed back to the lower levels.

Then she started up.

I didn't realize what it was at first. It was soft, gentle. It filtered through the air like a breeze, washing through my mind and soothing the fires that have burned so long.

She was singing.

I didn't know a machine could do that. I mean, I've listened to music on the radio, of course, but those are just recordings. This one... she was _singing_ music, not just broadcasting it.

I don't know what the music was. There weren't any words I could hear. I don't know if she made it up, or was performing some ancient piece. She kept it up for hours, never exactly the same way twice. She played with melody, coming up with variant after variant, creating an aria all her own between her and the stars.

I don't know when she stopped, exactly. I fell asleep while she was singing.

Peaceful, restful sleep, for _both_ of us_. _I thought that was gone forever. He didn't flip out, I didn't cease to exist. I don't know how long I would have stayed asleep under the deck like that. I only woke up when Salvador tromped up onto the bridge later and walked right over my head.

I've gone back every night since. It's not too much longer before we hit the Vault planet, and she won't sing in front of the others. I don't think they even suspect she can. I think she's embarrassed to show her talent, though I don't know why.

Maybe someday I can return the favor she's unwittingly done me. For now, I'm just going to enjoy my nap.

Hmmm... I wonder if Maya could learn to sing like that...

* * *

[Waaaaay back at the start of my first story, I committed one of the cardinal sins of writing: I told you that the moonbase (Helios Station, apparently) had been destroyed, rather than show its demise. I had my reasons, key among them that I didn't want to write that particular adventure.]

[This weekend, I absolve myself of that sin. Hope you enjoy!]  



	8. Bad moon setting

"Can you explain an event to me?"

Gaige looked up from her tweaking the screws on her arm. Cassidy was sitting in the pilot's chair, looking expectantly at her. "Sure, Cass. What's up?"

"There was a shattered satellite entrapped by Elpis' gravity," she said. "What went down up there?"

"Oh, now _that _was a night to remember," Gaige said with relish, laying back in her beanbag. "I can only tell you part of it, though. We'll need to get everyone else up here for the _whole_ story."

Cassidy tapped out a few commands on a holo-panel, then leaned back in her seat, hands folded. "There. The others should be on up soon."

"You _really_ wanna hear this one, huh?" She rubbed her chin. "Okay, I'll start off, and everybody else can jump in as they get here. What do you know about Hyperion and Pandora?"

"Everything, ending with Jack's expiration," Cassidy said. "After that event, information is elusive."

"Understandable," Gaige said. "Well, a little while after we killed Jack, we caught up to a Hyperion engineer. After a little... forceful persuasion, he coughed up a lot of blood and the access codes to the moonbase. Maya grabbed Lilith, Brick, Mordecai, and Tina, and we all got ready to storm the place-"

"Time-out... you brought _Tina?_" Cassidy sputtered. "The tiny teen with the tendency to trash things with TNT?"

"We _were_ going to blow the place up, and she had the same score to settle as the rest of us," Gaige pointed out. "Besides, I gave her the pistol-sized love child of a shotgun and rocket launcher, plus a shield that straight-up _devoured_ bullets. She was fine.

"So anyway, we all jumped into the fast travel station at the same time..."

* * *

They never saw us coming. We all exploded out of their receiving station at the same time, caught 'em _completely_ off-guard. I mowed down a few of 'em with my shotgun, then let Deathtrap off the leash. He took down another three loaders and an engineer before they knew _what_ hit 'em. Between all of us, we had the room cleared in a few seconds, and we made our move.

We had a rough layout of the station from the engineer, so we knew where to go. Hyperion's station was controlled from the sphere mounted between the two legs on either side of it. We'd attacked in the middle of the night, so their reaction time was down, too. Between our combined firepower, we got all the way up to command in a few minutes, and then it was _my_ turn to give orders.

"What a stupid system," I said as I hacked their command system. _"Everything_ is controlled from right here. With the command codes, I've managed to lock down most of the station. Nobody's getting in here without blasting through four layers of security doors."

"Nice work, Gaige!" Lilith said, patting my back. "Couldn't do have done it without you!"

"We haven't done _anything_ yet!" Axton griped, fingering his turret deck nervously. "So you locked the door, big deal. How do we take this place out?"

"Chill..._*hic*_ out, buddy," Mordecai said placidly, his burp wafting the smell of booze across my face. "She'll get it figured out. Just go with the flow, man."

"Long as she does it rapid-oh!" Salvador cackled madly, waving his guns around. "I wanna kill lots more stuff tonight!"

"No worries," I said, accessing the subsystems. "I can take out this whole station from here. All I need to do is-"

That's when I got caught off guard.

The white lights all went red, and an alarm blared through the whole station. I thought my ears were gonna bleed, it was so loud.

"What's that?!" Axton shrieked. "What did you do?!"

"They caught on a little faster than I thought they would," I admitted, typing fast. "They managed to sever most of the controls from here, but I've still got command over some stuff. Security overrides and basic systems, mostly."

"MEATY MEATY HACK N' SLASH, GRINDY GRINDY SMOOSH!" Krieg bellowed, waving his axe around.

"Down, boy," Maya told him calmly, putting a hand on his arm. "Am I correct in interpreting this to mean you're unable to destroy the station from this location?"

"Yes," I said with a blush. "Sorry."

"Have no fear," Maya said. "We'll simply dismantle the installation in a more _entertaining_ manner." She cocked her SMG. "Now, how do you recommend we annihilate this loathsome facility?"

I did a quick check over the system, looking for the answer I _knew_ had to be there. Fortunately for us, I found it pretty quickly. "Here's our solution," I said, pulling up a holographic blueprint. "The station's kept in orbit by gravity stabilizers at the top and bottom of each of the legs. If we can take those out, the whole place will crash into Elpis."

"So... you _can_ blow up the place?" Brick asked slowly.

"Yes and no," I said. "Like I said, I have control over the basic systems, including power control. I _could _send a power surge to the stabilizers and blow 'em out, but-"

"Then _do _it!" Axton whined at me. "Blow this place up so we can go home and I can take all the credit for it!"

"It's not that simple, _Axton_," I said, grinding my teeth. "The stabilizers have power dampers on them. If I send a power surge now, it won't destroy anything, and worse, the guards will know what we're up to."

"Kill everyone then...before they can stop us." Zero drew his sword and spun around, slashing the air. "A worthy challenge."

"Kill everyone _and _take out the dampers," Lilith corrected. She grinned and cracked her knuckles. "Right?"

"That's it," I confirmed. "It'll go faster if we split into five teams of two. Four to go take out the dampers, while I stay here to send the power surge once you've destroyed them all." I looked around at everyone. "One more thing. Once you've taken out the dampers, _stay_ _put_. The hallways going to each stabilizer have fast travel systems built into them, just in case they needed to evacuate quickly. Right after I send the power surge to the stabilizers, I'll activate the escape systems and send us all back to Sanctuary."

"Sure, sure, good plan, girl." Mordecai looked up at the screen blankly. "So, where am I going to do what again?"

Maya did her best to not sigh, but I still caught her exasperation. "Salvador, take Mordecai and head for the power dampers in the upper left leg. Krieg and I will take the lower left."

"See, senior eeta!"

"KILL MAIMY KILLSLASH!"

"I wanna go blow stuff up!" Tina complained. "Who do I get to go blow things up with?"

"_I_ don't want her," Axton muttered, edging towards the door and away from Tina.

"I'll take her with me," Brick said. "I'm friends with the little blonde girl."

"Actually, I could really use your help here, Tina," I said quickly. "If _some_ of us don't take out the dampers fast enough, we might have all the bases' security converge of us. Deathtrap and I will need a hand to hold 'em off." We wouldn't, of course. But I wasn't going to let Tina out of my sight if I could help it. I was worried she might get reckless on us.

Fortunately, she bought it. "All right!" she peeped. "Lemme go put bombs on the security doors! Then they'll explode if anyone tries to get in!" She darted off, pulling explosives out of her belt as she did.

"I will go after...the upper right station leg." Zero twirled his sword, doing some kind of blade-against-the-faceplate salute thingy. "Brick can come with me."

"So... I'm _not_ going with Tina?"

"That just leaves lower right." Lilith cracked her knuckles again, and I swear I saw her eyes glow. "It's aaaaall mine, kiddies."

"You're not going without me!" Axton said quickly, darting next to her side. "You'll protect- I mean, I'll protect you!"

"You've all got your marching orders, Hunters," Maya ordered. "Move out!"

They scattered into the hall and off in four different directions. I turned back to the monitor to watch their progress as best I could-

* * *

"'Move out'? Since when does Maya say things like that?" Axton interrupted, stepping out of the elevator. "For that matter, since when does she give anyone other than Krieg orders?"

Gaige flushed slightly as Axton sat down in his chair. "It's what I remember, okay? I know _you_ didn't give any orders that night."

"You weren't with me, so you can't know that for sure," Axton said loftily. "I hope she hasn't spoiled the whole story for you, Cassidy. We're just about to get to the good part."

"Oh?"

"Yep." Axton cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. "Gaige was right about one thing, she stayed on the bridge while the rest of us did the heavy lifting."

Gaige's red tinge changed spectrum from embarrassed to angry, but the rapt expression on Cassidy's face kept her from interrupting.

"So anyway, Lilith and I headed down the corridor, running for the deck with the power damper. We got about three decks down when we ran into our first opposition..."

* * *

The three schlubs in the hallway never knew what hit them. The first one's head vaporized in a shower of blood and gore, covering the other two with body fluids and teeth.

I got the second one right through the heart a second later. He fell to the deck and started to bleed out, the light dimming from his eyes one watt at a time.

The last one had time to realize he was wearing and standing in his buddies, but a blast through his throat made sure he'd never have time to bitch about it.

"Not bad, soldier-boy," Lilith purred, pressing up against me. "I _love _it when you go to town like that."

"Baby, you ain't seen _nothin'_ yet," I said smoothly. I leveled my gun down the hall. "All right, you Hyperion bastards!" I challenged. "Get out here and make my day!"

Doors all over slid open, and security forces piled out, hundreds of 'em, all armed with the latest in Hyperion guns and armor. To anyone else in the galaxy- no, all _six_ of the galaxies- the whole UNIVERSE, even- they'd be a terrifying sight.

Then one of the mooks caught sight of me, and he screeched like a scared little red-headed highschool girl. "Oh my GOD! It's the _Commando! ! ! !_"

"NO! NOT HIM! _ANY_ONE BUT HIM!"

"_Why _couldn't we have gotten the little girl?!"

The gutless little cowards all turned and ran, trampling each other as they tried to get away from my sheer awesomeness. I held my arms out to my sides, pointing my gun at the floor. "Hey, come on, guys! I'll give you a fair chance! I'll even count to three before I start blowing you away!"

"Why don't you leave them to _me,_ big fella?" Lilith said, seductively putting a finger to my lips. "I wouldn't want you to get all bloody."

"I appreciate the thought, Lilith," I said, pulling her close to me. "But I can't let a woman do my fighting for me. That's just not what a man does."

* * *

"Okay, stop right there!" Gaige yelled. "This is _not_ what happened!"

"Were _you_ there?" Axton asked smugly. "No. So let me tell my part of the story _my_ way."

* * *

"Oh, I'm not doing your fighting for you," Lilith cooed. "You just fight the robots while _I_ kill the humans. I'm going to enjoy scrubbing the oil off you later." With that, she did that awesome turn-purple-and-zap-people thing and zipped away from me.

I turned around and saw what she meant. An army of robots had come up behind me, every single one of 'em a Super Badass WAR loader. They started charging their guns.

"Hey, boys!" I said. "Good to see ya! Know who you're about to die at the hands of?"

One of the Ultra-Mega Super Badass bots made a weird gurgling noise. {Alert. This is Commando enemy. 105% probability of destruction assured if we engage.}

{Irrelevant,} the lead unit whirred dumbly. {.001% probability exists that at least one Super Duper Ultimate Supreme Badass unit will scratch Commando's little toe. We must engage.}

"Wrong, dumb-bot!" I roared. "Not so long as I've got..." I reached behind my back and pulled my favorite weapon. "My _TURRET!_"

{ERROR. ERROR. TURRET USAGE NOT FACTORED IN. PROBABILITY OF VICTORY NOW -2500%. RETREAT AUTHORIZED.}

* * *

"_Minus twenty-five hundred percent?! _There's no such thing!"

"I'm not finished yet!"

* * *

"Get 'em, darlin'!" I threw my precious baby at the far wall, and she stuck there and deployed, folding out her guns like petals of a flower, ready and willing to receive death from everything in front of her.

"And here's her twin sister!"

My best girls let loose, chewing up the loaders. They shattered like cheap glass hit by a freight train, while I stood there and laughed. Finally, their lust for death and destruction sated, my turrets folded back up returned to me, basking in the afterglow and waiting for their chance to go again.

"Hey, soldier," Lilith said, sidling back up to me. "I see you got nice and _dirty_ for me." She waved a hand, and something off in the distance exploded. "I went ahead and took care of the power thingy. We're all done here."

"Groovy, baby." I hit my ECHO. "Gaige, we're done here. Send us home whenever you're ready."

[About time, you slowpoke! What kept-]

"Commando signing off." I hit the button again, cutting off her screechy voice, and grabbed Lilith around the waist, crushing her against me. "C'mere, sweet thing. Gimme a taste of those hot lips."

We kissed each other like waves crashing against rock, and when the kiss broke, she jumped off the deck and wrapped her legs around my waist, clinging to me like a couple of pythons. We dropped to the floor and-

* * *

"You realize she was pregnant."

Axton broke off. "What?"

"Lilith," Maya elaborated, sitting in her recliner. "Somewhere between five and a half or seven weeks, I think." She leaned back and toyed with her SMG. "You sure you want to keep the end of that story _exactly_ as you'd planned to?"

"There's nothing _physically _impossible about-"

"Bear in mind I'm recording all this for her to hear later. And she _does_ have access to an FTL ship."

Axton coughed awkwardly. "So, yeah, we blew up our damper thing. Maya, you wanna go next?"

Maya looked at the empty chairs in the circle. "Actually, I'd like to wait for our last few members."

"Wait's over, _chica!_" Salvador called. "_¿Que pasa?_"

"We're telling Cassidy about our little excursion to the moonbase," Gaige said, glaring at Axton. "Some of us a little more _accurately_ than others."

Axton folded his arms and raised his head. "Don't blame _me_ if you can't make a story interesting," he said haughtily. "So, Maya. You want to tell your part now?"

"It's actually Krieg's part, too," she pointed out. "Why don't you tell the first section?"

Krieg thumped his chest and perched on his metal stool. "The flames of rage fueled my engine of destruction! My teeth ripped through the meat sacks, and I-"

"Ummm..." Cassidy interrupted, "maybe Maya _should_ tell the tale."

Krieg looked at Maya and shrugged. "Chuck Palahniuk's not for everyone. Go ahead, Jane Austen."

* * *

"Here they come!" Krieg yelled. "I've got point!"

It wasn't _actually_ what he said, of course. I can just hear what he _means_ over what he _says_. It's definitely a learned skill, but I've practically mastered it by now.

Krieg hurled himself into the thick of things and went to work clearing a path through the loaders that were swarming towards us. I laid down suppression fire and kept the strays off his back, but honestly, he didn't really need my help. He's a master with his sawblade, a poet in destructive arts. It's astonishing to watch him work, the same way it's incredible when a sculptor creates a woman from a heap of rock, or an architect turns ink and paper into their vision of the future.

He's flawless with the axe, and skilled with a gun. That's the one area he could use some refinement in, honestly. He puts his rippling muscles to good use cleaving enemies in twain, but he lacks the focus and polished edge needed for true mastery of gunplay. I've only seen one that has elevated firearms to the same level of brutal artistry as Krieg has done with his axe, and regrettably, I wasn't partnered with him.

I'm not nearly as skilled with firearms, and I certainly don't have Krieg's raw strength. But I do have my own unique edge to fall back on.

I can _feel_ the power before I unleash it. It coils through my mind, flooding through my body, until I channel it down my arm and will it towards my foe. It's just as incredible now as the first time I did it, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. I love living a life that lets me use my powers as much as I do.

This time, I snared my target in the otherworldly sphere of energy, drawing in his compatriots and leaving them all helpless under my fire. In seconds, I had finished the guards, and Krieg had reduced the local robot population to zero.

I swung my gun around, checking for any more targets. "Clear! How's it look up there?"

"Nothing moving," he growled, loping forward to the next intersection. "The damper's just on the other side of this hanger! We should be able to-"

A flash of motion drew my eyes up to the thirty foot high ceiling. A strange sort of ripple, crawling among the rafters-

"Krieg, _LOOK OUT!_"

I lunged forward and threw all my weight against him in a full-power bodyslam, and it was just barely enough to knock him out of the way. He's a _big_ guy.

Unfortunately, that left me vulnerable.

I felt something crack against my chest, and I went flying. My shields caught most of the damage, but I still hit the wall hard enough for stars to flash in front of my eyes, and my vision went blurry. I tried to focus on the thing in front of me, to raise my weapon, but my limbs felt like lead. I saw a pair of gleaming fangs, dripping with saliva-

"_I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD! ! ! !"_

With a feral roar, Krieg leapt into the air, his body twisting and contorting into a massive, misshapen version of himself as he hurtled towards the monster. He landed on its back, burying his axe deep in the flesh between its shoulderblades. The thing shrieked and spun, trying to snap Krieg off its back, but its neck was too short to reach him. Krieg hung on, digging one hand into the wound, his other hand hacking relentlessly with his axe.

I lay forgotten by the creature, but I forced myself back up and into the fight again. It was a massive stalker, I could tell that now- but it wasn't like any stalker we'd ever fought before. Metal parts seemed to be attached all over its body, and slag was leaking visibly from some of the tubing and robotic joints.

I couldn't wait for my head to clear any further. I threw out my hand and focused all my will, feeling the power build under my skin. I screamed my determination as I lashed out, but I didn't try to immobilize the stalker. Instead, I grabbed at its mind, trying to seize the savage, brutal consciousness underneath all the muscle and power.

This stalker's mind was different from others. It was part machine, controlled and guided from somewhere else, but I was still able to scramble its thought processes and motor functions just enough.

It stopped thrashing and snapping long enough for Krieg to cleave its skull in two.

My link with the stalker dissipated as its life was snuffed out. I bent over, gasping in relief and trying to regain my balance.

"You alright, Pretty Lady?"

I looked up as Krieg ran towards me, shrinking back to his normal, well-built self. I smiled what must have been a pretty wiped out smile and nodded, trying to ignore the ache in my ribs. "I'll manage. Let's finish this."

We didn't meet up with any other serious resistance along the way. I blew out the damper and radioed Gaige. "Damper's down. Standing by."

[Got it! We're just waiting for Axton to report back, hold tight!]

"Copy." I slumped against the wall. "Keep an eye down that end of the hall. I've got this one."

"On it!" Krieg pulled his gun and spun around, watching the security door for any sign of attack.

I put my back to him and focused on the other end of the hall, waiting for the word that everyone else was going to make it out.

I kind of wished we had another set of guns in the hall right then. Would've been nice to have the backup. And I do admire the artistry of two-handed, bullet-spawned destruction.

* * *

"You did _not_ fight a slag-powered cyborg stalker," Axton insisted.

"Would I lie?" Maya asked innocently. "Ask Krieg if you don't believe me."

Axton glanced at Krieg, sitting beside him with arms folded and an almost tangible air of cockiness. "Like that's going to get me anywhere."

"Were _you _there?" Gaige asked with even greater smugness. "No. So let her tell the story _her_ way."

"Actually, that's pretty much it for my part," Maya admitted, missing the look Axton shot Gaige. "Who's next?"

* * *

The gauntlet is thrown.

Brick nods, accepts my challenge.

Who will win the day?

A face, smashed by fist

Throws blood and tears around us.

Brick's first kill tonight.

An engineer falls,

My blade lancing through his heart.

I'm up by two now.

Back and forth it goes,

The war for supremacy.

He's a tough rival.

The damper appears

Guarded by seven more foes.

A winner is nigh.

The last man is down,

And I have edged out Brick's count.

Time to blow this joint.

* * *

"You _would_ do it that way," Gaige laughed.

:) "Such is my style."

"Which brings us to _me!_" Salvador leaped to his feet, standing on his armchair, arms akimbo. "Here we go!"

* * *

Huyeron delante de nosotros, corriendo como-

* * *

"Uh, Sal, ol' buddy? Nobody here speaks Spanish."

"Huh? Oh, right! It was just me an' Mordy back then, so I forgot. Here, I'll start again..."

* * *

They fled before us, running like the cowards that ran from the bulls of our ancestors so long ago. But unlike those bulls, our horns reach further than they can run, and they fall under our hooves, doomed to return to the dust we trample them into.

No, that's wrong. WE ARE MEN, and THEY are the animals! They know our fury as we fall upon them, rage and power and divine righteousness! With but a single shot, my brother silences three bleating sheep. By the flash of his blade, he sends another back to the welcoming arms of his god. He is here for family slain, and his vengeance will not be denied this day.

I am here for him, for the fallen, for my world, and for MYSELF! _I_ am the right AND left hand of _GOD ALMIGHTY!_ _I _am the ULTIMATE POWER in the universe, and I throw my _everything_ into the slaughter and destruction around me!

Faced with the unmistakeable truth of my existence, what can I do but laugh?

And laugh I do. My voice makes the roof tremble, and is heard throughout all corners of the world! The men who die by my hand today will go to their maker, and will say, "To a TRUE MAN did I die! Would that I could live my life again, to die by his guns once more! It was a death worth living for!"

The men and machines have fallen by the wayside, and now my brother and I stand before our goal. It is a tiny thing, metal and electricity, hardly worthy of our time. It cannot feel the exquisite truth of fear, the delight of its impending death at my hands and guns. It makes me weep, to destroy such a pitiful thing.

But I do destroy it, though it make my heart heavy. For through the destruction of this pathetic piece of machinery, my good and worthy sister will wreak the destruction of So MUCH _MORE_!

And so it is done, this last fragment of a barrier to the _glorious destruction _of all that is around us! As the world begins to explode, I feel myself dissolve, to break into the pure light of infinity, and I scream to the universe that which is my Ultimate Truth, and my One Guiding Principle:

_I AM ALL THAT IS MAN! ! ! !_

* * *

The echo of Salvador's triumphant shout resounded around the dome several times before finally fading back into silence. He beamed at his friends expectantly. "Eh? Eh? How ya like _that_ one?"

Axton stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it vigorously before answering. "That's one hell of world you live in, buddy."

"I kinda liked it," Maya said with a little smile. "Very classical."

"Gotta admit, I didn't think you _knew _half those words," Gaige said. She turned to Cassidy. "So there it is. Now you know how we destroyed the moonbase." She glanced sideways at Axton. "Embellishments aside, that is."

"Like I'm the only guilty party? What's with you making me out like a whiny sap? _I'm_ the one with highest bodycount around here."

"Oh, really, _hermano?_ Wanna bet?"

Cassidy leaned back and smiled as the Hunters argued and laughed with each other, happily debating who among their little crew was actually the most badass. The Vault world was just a week away, and from what she'd just heard, their antics alone promised an interesting show.

_I can't wait to see you in action again._

* * *

[Omini, Domini, I'm done. :)]

[Well, with this one, anyway. Starting next week, I'll begin posting the true sequel to Leaving Pandora. I'm not listing Space between as complete, though, because I'm not sure it is. There's probably a few more character bits I have rattling around here somewhere.]  


[Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy my as yet untitled second story!]


	9. Letters from Pandora

Dear Lilith,

I'm sorry for having to correspond with you this way, but it seems we lack any other option. I'm sure you noticed the time-lag and stutters in our last communication. When I asked Cassidy about it, she informed me that there was no problem with the equipment, we've simply gone beyond the gear's designed range. Frankly, I think she was a little impressed we got this much distance. Shuttles aren't usually used so far from their motherships.

I hope you've been well these past few weeks. We've been carrying on as usual, filling our time with whatever we can find. I've read more in the past few weeks than I have in years. Wonderful library on board. I have to admit, despite our group's camaraderie, I think it's a good thing there's so few of us out here. The chance to have a few hours of total solitude is increasingly important for some of us. This is due to a slightly unpleasant discovery we only recently made.

We forgot to bring any extra alcohol.

It's not so bad for most of us. We all partook back in Sanctuary, but it's really Axton and Salvador that are suffering the most. Axton said he hasn't been this 'dry' in seven years, and poor Salvador has an almost constant withdrawal/dehydration headache. I've spent a great deal of time with him in the medical bay, trying to find a permanent remedy, but he always needs to seek me out a day or so later. I believe he and Axton are nearly desperate enough to try drinking watered-down hand sanitizer. They may have been emboldened by their experimentation with mouthwash shooters, I'm not one hundred percent certain.

Hopefully, we can prevent any further ill-conceived ventures into improvised drunkenness, and instead provide a fairly logical alternative. Gaige and I have a plan, but it will require your aid quickly, before we lose even this limited means of communication.

Salvador lamented that included with the six crates of forgotten spirits was his grandmother's personal recipe for their traditional family brew. If you could locate the recipe and send it to us via this channel, Gaige is convinced she could brew it from materials on board. She's quite enthusiastic about the prospect; I believe she's already designing the still.

If you could locate the recipe, you would have seven very grateful people on this ship.

Has your pregnancy been advancing smoothly? How are Brick and Mordecai? Any changes on the Hyperion front?

-Maya

* * *

Hey, killer!

ain't that funny? i'm the one taking a mission from you for once! :)

i'll look for Sal's recipe. if i can't find it, maybe i can get in touch with his grandma, we'll see.

the little one is still healthy, and hasn't caused me any problems. i'm not even showing much. between that and the med gear on our shuttle, i might get off with an easy ride. here's hoping, right?

some news on the Hyperion front. Brick n' Mordy are tracking an old frenemy now. with any luck, they'll have her in captivity soon. she's got one very important question to answer.

Lilith

p.s. found the recipe like two seconds before i mailed this. Sal's grandma wrote it on the back of his wanted poster. good luck with your moonshine, save me some for when you get back! (and i can drink it again)

* * *

Liiiiiiiiillllllllleeeeeeeeeeeee!

Thx 4 the rcepi! Gage mad it reeeeely gud, and I miiiiiiiiight have had a liiiiiiiittttle too mcuh. Sals soooo hapy. I like it when he's happi. I like it when every1s hapy dont yuou liek it when were all hippy? U do, i no you dooooo. Yer a good leader lady, you reeaaallly are. Yes, you r! Who's a good leader? It's uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Youll bee a gret mommy. too. I never had a mom, did I tell you that? I wanted one when I was little, but the _brothers_ wouldnt git me 1. Losta brothers, but no mommy or daddy. They werent even _good_ brothers. they were more like.. really... really, really, _not _ good brothers. Ooh, ooh, I know! I should tack this shoip, you sohuld take the shuddle, and we;ll both go attack the planet I gerw up on! we should totally do it, it'll be greeeeeeaaaat! Write me back!

-Maya

* * *

...good lord, girl, how much did you _drink?! _

gotta go, prisoner to interrogate. }:)

-Lil

* * *

Lilith,

Much less than you'd expect, much more than I should have. I learned- no, scratch that- we _all_ learned a valuable lesson that night: you do _not_ tangle lightly with Sal's home brew. Even now, the clicking as I type sends arrows of pain through my head. If you're wondering why I'm using a physical keyboard instead of a light panel, it's because the light panel made want to rip my eyes out due to the the pain that vision brought me. Ow.

How are you? Did you say you'd retrieved your target?

...I have to stop writing now and find Salvador. He owes me aspirin. Lots of it.

-Maya

* * *

-ome bac- -dora- Erid- -war co-ing- -eed y- -lp in battle ahe- **Error. Message corrupted due to extreme range. Deleting...**

* * *

[Just a short little chapter that wandered into my head. Still on track to resume the actual story on the 28th, and I may have a few more here as well. Thanks for reading!] 


	10. Mayafiction

[Random update! Quick note, though, there's some spoilers for classic literature in here.]

[...I promise it'll make sense.]

* * *

Maya's life with the Order of the Impending Storm had been a long series of practice exercises. Weapons training, hand-to-hand training, agility training, tactical training... it seemed like it never stopped. She hadn't exactly _minded_; the physical exertions had gotten easier and more fun over the years, while the mental exercises gave her mind an acuity that had saved her life more than once.

Her time on Pandora, though, had been more satisfying than all the training years of her life. Out from under the Order's thumb, Maya was free to _use_ her training, testing her skills against real threats. Life on that wild, dangerous world had thrilled her in ways she never would have imagined.

The only thing she missed about the abbey was its library.

Countless books, across infinite subjects. No tome had ever been too dull to read at least once, no mass of paper too daunting a challenge. For years, Maya had let her mind roam the multiverse of paper and ink, and she was certain that those tales, in part, had driven her to seek more from the Order than the worthless answers they routinely doled out.

The library on their new ship wasn't as enormous physically, but it definitely had more books in it. Maya slipped into the room, selected a leather-bound reader from a shelf, and settled into a comfortable, plush chair, and opened the 'book'. The pages were blank, but that was about to change. "Computer, resume from last chapter."

**{Confirmed.}** The blank pages glowed briefly, and writing appeared as though it had always been there. Finding the last line she remembered, Maya turned the page and read on.

The ship vanished. Woods grew up around her, filled with the sounds of night creatures. A boy and his dogs sprinted through the night, seeking their own type of challenge and prey. Maya watched silently with her mind's eye, reveling in their successes. Then, the last night. They headed out as always, but this time, they found too much-

"Why are you weeping?"

The ship reappeared. Maya tore her gaze away from the pages, and looked up to see Cassidy in the doorway. "I'm sorry?"

Cassidy touched her own cheek. "You're crying. What's causing you consternation?"

Maya brushed her face and saw droplets on her gloved hand. "Oh, it's just this old story." She smiled and sniffed. "It always gets me right at the end."

"Oh." She looked confused. "You've read those writings before?"

"Yes."

"So... you _knew_ it would set you sobbing?"

Maya raised an eyebrow. "Is there a point to this?"

"I'm just wondering why you'd subject yourself to a stimulus that makes you mournful," Cassidy explained. "It doesn't really make much sense."

"That's a little tough to explain," Maya agreed. She stood up and held out the book to Cassidy. "Maybe you'll get understand if your read it yourself." She started out the door, then turned back. "By the way..."

Cassidy looked up from examining the book's title. "Hm?"

"Next time you see me engrossed in a book, don't interrupt me unless the engines are blowing up. Got it?"

"Yes'm."

"Atta girl."

Maya didn't think about the exchange for the next couple of days. She practiced her shooting with Zero, spent a day hand-to-hand training with Krieg, even tried lifting weights with Axton and Salvador. She didn't run into Cassidy during that time, but nothing about that seemed odd to her. The girl spent most of her time on the bridge anyway.

Then Gaige caught up to her.

"Did you show this to Cassidy?"

Maya glanced up from her dinner. Gaige had taken seat across from her and was holding up the book Cassidy had taken. "Probably. Is it still a story about a boy and a couple dogs?"

"That's the one." Gaige's voice was a long way from its usual cheerful self. "You told her to _read_ this?"

"It's a great story! It's got loyalty, courage, determination-"

"And an ending that rips the heart out of anyone that reads it!" Gaige yelled. "You really thought _this_ should be Cassidy's first book?!"

"First?" Maya looked at the book with a slightly foreboding sensation. "First _ever?_"

"She's a month old! Of course it's her first book _ever!_"

Maya winced guiltily. "Oops."

"Yes, _oops._" Gaige glared at her. "After she read it, she stayed glued to my side for a whole day. I think she half expected the mountain lion to burst out of walls and eat me." She jabbed her finger at the door. "You need to go apologize to her. Right now."

Maya found herself battling with an almost uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing, but also a surprising sense of child-like guilt. "What can I do? She already read the book, it's not like I can just erase her memory." She frowned. "Can I?"

"_No_, you _can't,_" Gaige growled. "_Go._"

Of all the dangerous, deadly things Maya had battled, somehow her red-headed friend had become the most threatening creature she'd ever seen. "Yes'm."

A few minutes later, Maya stepped off the elevator and under the dome. "Cassidy?"

"Here." The voice came from its usual spot in the command chair, surrounded by a wall of holographic screens.

"Um, listen..." Maya said, walking over to the chair, "I wanted to apologize for telling you to read that book. You probably weren't ready for it, and-"

"I repaired it." Cassidy's hand stabbed out from behind the wall of light holding another book. "Read."

"Repaired...?" Baffled, Maya took the book and started leafing through the pages. "What do you mean by..." She trailed off.

_ There was a low cough and a deep growl from the lion. I saw him crouch. I knew what was coming. My hands felt hot and sweaty on the smooth ash handle of the ax. With a blood-curdling scream he sprang from the tree with claws outspread and long, yellow fangs bared._

_I knew my dogs would fight. I knew they would save me. I knew they would die for me. I didn't want it. I closed my eyes, and asked for a miracle-_

_ Yellow lightning flashed through my eyelids, and a thunderclap boomed through the air. The devil cat shrieked like it was being torn apart. My dogs howled, and a burst of strange noise rattled around me. _

_ "You can open your eyes now. You're all safe."_

_ I opened my eyes, but I didn't believe them. The lion was dead on the ground, a dozen bloody holes in its side. _

_ "You need to be more careful. I can't always be around to save you."_

_ It was a woman's voice. I looked around, and what I saw about floored me._

_ A beautiful woman was kneeling by my two dogs. She was petting both of them. Dan looked happy as I'd ever seen him, and Ann was wiggling like a pup. Her left arm glowed brighter than my lantern, and, the strangest thing, she had a bright blue gun on her back._

_ "Who are you?" I croaked. _

_ "You called. I answered." She stood up and walked towards me, Dan and Ann at her feet. She laid her hands on my shoulders. "But I can only do it once." She bent down and kissed the top of my head. "So you be careful, okay?"_

_ I felt my whole body go hot, like I'd been dunked in fire. I tried to nod, but my neck felt like a rusty pump. "Yes, ma'am. I'll be careful."_

_ "Good boy." She turned and started to walk away. _

_ "Wait!" Somehow, I managed to yell without sounding like a bullfrog. "Who are you?"_

_ "Someone that knows you deserve better." There was another flash of yellow light, another roll of thunder, and I was alone with my dogs again._

Maya couldn't read any more. She stared at Cassidy through the wall of holographic screens with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment. "Really? You rewrote the ending so _I _saved his dogs?"

"You showed me the story," Cassidy said. She sounded oddly distracted. "You were the suitable savior."

Maya sighed and leaned against Cassidy's chair. "I'm sorry I upset you with the story, but there's a lot of good stories with sad endings out there. Part of it is to help people understand that sometimes bad things happen. You can't just change them."

"Of course I can." Cassidy looked up, and Maya suddenly noticed she had another book in her hand. "Really, _rabies?_ That can be cured with a simple shot."

It took Maya a few minutes to find her voice. "Are you changing the end of _Old Yeller_?!"

"Zero zapped in with a syringe." Cassidy motioned to a stack of books by her chair. "And Axton led Lennie away from the barn, and Salvador shot Tom so she could go with Gatsby."

Maya opened her mouth... then closed it. _Well, I guess it's better than torching the book after reading it the first time. _It had taken half the monks to put out that fire.

Brother Sophis had been _extremely_ displeased.

She perched on the arm of Cassidy's chair. "You know, I bet Gaige could help Holden find his bearings."

"Probably, but there's another problem first." Cassidy glared at the next book on the stack. "I figure it'll take _all_ of you to bring down Big Brother."

"See, _that_ one I'll help you write."

* * *

[Apologies to anyone who's never read those books. Thanks for reading!]  



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